Unforgiven
by jacksperluvr
Summary: Adopted from MistyTearzz. The Cullen's have left. Bella is not coping,Drugs and cutting are a dangerious mix, not that she cares. What will happen if they come back, what will they do when they find out how much Bella has changed.
1. Moving on With Razors and Magic Pills

I woke up screaming from another nightmare, sweat covered my forehead. I sat up and wiped the moister off, This wasn't my usual nightmare .Him. leaving. had become fixed in my mind, replaying every night, I am broken, sighing loudly and collapsed back into my bed ,I clutched my face trying to shake the dream away, failing I turned back around to my clock -3:28am.

"Fuck!" I muttered, It was too early. I reached for my joints, lighting it half asleep.

I couldn't care less about myself anymore, most people had given up on me including Jacob , I had nothing to live for, Phil and Renee had died in a car accident a year ago, but I couldn't get myself to cry. I was too numb. But I couldn't kill myself, that will brake Charlie like .HE. had broken me.

I hated myself for falling in love, especially with a vampire, was I only a pet to them, a weak fragile human, I was much more now, I've changed.

Charlie knew I was messed up, he decided against sending me to a mental institute in Seattle because I had become catatonic for while, I snapped out of it 2 months later anyway, I thank him for giving me time.

I groaned, hopping out of bed, I know it was early but I didn't feel like another nightmare thank you very much!.

I made my way to the shower, Charlie was away for the week, probably finding an excuse to get away from me.

I don't blame him.

Smiling I pulled out my good old razor, it had helped me a lot since they left. It was my own relief, it makes me feel somewhat, alive. I didn't hallucinate about Edward much anymore ,which was depressing.

I cut deep into both my wrists, but not enough to kill myself , unfortunately .blood oozed out onto the floor as I got into the shower, slowly I put my bleeding arms under the hot water, feeling the pain searing from the cuts. I washing my hair gently and climbed out to get a towel.

I screamed loudly has I slipped covering myself in the blood on the floor. What nearly kills us makes use stronger right? I thought. My head was hurting from the impact against the floor,

It had been almost 2 years since they left, they wouldn't dare come back, I hate them all.

What would have happened if Edward didn't leave, I would have defiantly married him and loved him, but now it too late to love I'm Philophobic for sure.(Fear of being in love or falling in love).

I quickly got up off the floor and grabbed a rag covering the floor with bleach.

My nose started to burn as I rubbed it around the bathroom getting rid of the blood.

My alarm suddenly went off, I looked around it was 6:00am, Time for my pill, this was the only exciting part of today, I wasn't really into the whole drug abuse thing, but it did make me feel better so I don't really care.

Razors' and drugs are additive.

I smiled again.

I realised my wristed were still bloody, I went to the cabinet and got some bandages as well as the pills. I Cleaned the blood off my naked body and got dressed into Jeans and a black T.

I ran down the stairs, without tripping and picked up my keys .

Jacob and I had built motorbikes 1 year ago, that was before he started to hate me. But I still have it to ride to school.

I walked out the front.

My black jumper was seating on my motorbike soaked in rain.

I sighed staring at it.

I guess I could where a wet jumper for today, I'm not trying to impress anyone, But I'll be fucking cold!

I started my Bike and speed off for my usual morning ride before school, I was surprised Charlie agreed to letting me ride this baby, I would have rode it anyway, it makes me feel free, I would never get off it, if I could

I did a sharp turn at the corner, It had started to rain.

I actually like the rain now, I don't know why?.

I started to hum a tune as a rode, it soon turned into my lullaby, I immediately regretted humming.

I got out my "school razor" and cut a light line on one my wrist, not enough to make a bloody mess though.

I reluctantly decided to make my way to school in the freezing rain.

Turning into the school I saw a shiny Silver Volvo parked by itself.

"Great I'm hallucinating" I frowned sarcastically.

I could have stayed home and tried hallucinated.

I speed into school parking lot, parking as far as my motor bike would allow from the Volvo.

This was weird I never saw a Volvo in any of my hallucinations.

I shrugged.

"It's the pill" I said to myself.

I ran into the building. I was 100% sure I was seeing things, why would they come back now. I ran to the bathroom and pulled out my Razor yet again, but stopped realising I left my school stuff on my bike.

"shit" I hissed

The Volvo's probably gone I thought, Why did it seem so real?

I ran back out at full speed to get my stuff. People stared.

Jessica and Lauren blocked my path.

"Fucking move Guys" I spat.

"Bella, what you gunna do?" she started

I punched them both in the face they collapsed shocked. I had enough of those sick bitches, saying stuff about my past.

"That's what I was going to do you biatch's" I smiled.

I reached my bike, But my stuff was gone.

"What" I whisper confused.

Who would steal my fucking bag.

"This is crazy" I thought

I bared a glimpse to where the Volvo was before.

"Still there" I sighed angrily.

Mike decides to approach me.

"Hi Bella"

"Fuck off Mike" I glared at him.

He ignored me.

"I was wondering-"

"No Mike FUCK OFF!" I screamed.

He ran away scared like a little girl.

"Ha" I laughed.

I couldn't stand it here anymore, I hopped back on my bike and rode out of the school.

"BELLA!" I heard a familiar voice.

I shrugged it off.

I was going home.

school wasn't usually this chaotic.

I arrived home shortly after, lighting up another joint.

"God.." I breathed in the smoke with relief.

The house phone rang.

I ignored it .

My phone rang. (Fuck you by Lily Allen)

I smashed it into the wall like a spastic idiot, that's when I saw from the window a car parking.

I felt sick, I hadn't eaten in about 2 weeks.

I bolted to the bathroom, puked.

I lifted by head to just see red.

Blood.

I felt a set of hands holding my hair back.

I spun around.

**No hints for the next chapter..I'm sure you've got a pretty good Idea though..or not. :0**

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**No reviews no Updates :P sorry that was harsh..**


	2. Jacob, Charlie and the Cullens

It was Jacob.

"Bella?, what happened to you" He said concerned.

He reached out to take my hands, I pulled back. It had been a long time since someone has touched me.

I just stared.

"Bella?" He repeated looking at me.

"Yes" I whispered.

"are you ok"? He asked.

I ignored his question, it was obvious that I wasn't ok.

"Why are you here, you hate me" I said looking down at the red flow in the toilet."

"I have some bad news Bella" he hesitated.

I looked at him.

"It's Charlie" he said slowly sitting next to me.

"What about Charlie?" I asked confused.

"He's been involved in accident"

He watched waiting for my reaction.

I said nothing.

He picked me up taking me to my bed.

"PUT ME DOWN" I screamed.

He let go calmly placing me on the bed.

I curled into a tight ball, away from him.

"Is he ok" I asked scared.

"I'm sorry Bella, he's gone"

Again he waited for my reaction.

"what?" I said dumbly

"He's gone Bella" He repeated.

"Please Bella don't go catatonic" He begged beside me.

"I'm not" I snapped

"Thank you" he smiled.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight Bella" He asked gently.

"No" I sighed.

"At least let me stay with you for awhile" he pleaded.

"No" I said again.

"Well I'm going to anyway " he said getting himself comfortable.

I sighed again. I was frustrated.

"Really you don't have to, I would rather be alone Jacob sorry"

"I'll make you a deal" He states.

"sure" I whispered.

"I'll live if, you call me later"

"ok" Lied.

"Ok bye Bella"

I got up the urge to hug him.

"One more thing?" I frowned.

"How did h..he d..die" I stuttered.

He put his arms around me, I relaxed into them.

"Bella, what do you think" He asked.

It took me a few seconds

"Vampire" I breathed.

he nodded.

"Victoria" I thought.

"ok I'll go" he said standing up.

"Bye" I whispered, also getting to my feet.

"And Bella I don't hate you" he smiled.

I nodded, knowing it was a lie.

With that he climbed out the window.

Once he was out of sight I grabbed my razor and cut myself anywhere I could reach, blood was all over the bathroom.

Everything was blurry.

Suddenly someone yanked the razor out of my hand.

The razor was cut through my hand, I was to numb feel anything.

"BELLA?, can you hear me" the person begged.

Who is this, how did they know me, the voice sounded familiar.

"stay with me" he begged.

The person picked me up.

I screamed.

"Sshhh Bella, what were you thinking" he soothed.

"Who are you and what do you want from me" I manage to utter.

My question wasn't answered.

I felt dizzy.

I screamed trying to get away. I didn't know who this was.

"Bella I'm not going to hurt you" he brushed my hair

"Get away, DON'T TOUCH ME!" I screamed.

I was ignored yet again.

I felt a cool breeze, they were taking somewhere.

"Whoever you are LET GO!" I screamed again.

I just wanted to die. I had no one to live for anymore.

My vision adjusted a bit.

They were putting me in a Car.

I was too weak to scream, I didn't care anymore.

A face came into few.

"Bella" he breathed.

I just stared..

"Carlisle will she live" He asked sobbing

"Yes she just has major blood loss" he frowned.

I poked Edward gently with my bad hand. He seemed to real.

"Yes Bella" He said cupping my face.

"Edward she's in shock, she doesn't know what she's doing" Carlisle explained.

I knew what I was doing, I was seeing if he was real. obviously he isn't neither is Carlisle.

I reached of the door handle to get out of my hallucination.

"Know you don't" they both said in unison ,my hand was gently placed somewhere else.

Pain shoot through my body.

I let out a half scream half choking sound. Than I was numb again.

"We have to hurry" Carlisle said to Edward.

he nodded.

Everything was going blurry again.

"I'm so sorry Bella, I did this to you" he traced my lips with his finger gently.

I bit him hard, chipping some of my teeth.

"Bella?" He sounded shocked.

"She just bit me" He said outraged.

I struggled out of his lap, he held me so I couldn't.

"Sit Still Bella" He warned.

I whimpered.

"Do you want me to carry her out Edward, encase she bites you" he asked.

"No" he said simply.

I was picked up again. I wanted to get away.

I screamed and thrashed around, he didn't seem to budge.

I tried to bit him again. He moved his hand.

"Bella, I'm sorry , can you please calm down" he kissed my cheek

"JACOB HELP!" I screamed.

"Jasper! can you help me"

No not Jasper, I was knocked out cold.

I didn't want to be here, they would hurt me again, they don't love me. I'm just an annoying pet they'll get rid of again.

I HATE them!

I wanted to die, don't they get that.

**Sorry yeah it was a bit out there, I thought of the biting bit when I bit my lip eating a sandwich ha-ha :P**

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	3. Failed Escape, Screaming and Talking

I woke up on a soft warm bed, I didn't open my eyes, dreading of what I might see. I could just make out the muffled sounds of a TV down stairs, I was definitely at the Cullen's house, in Edwards room.

Now for the escape Plan, is there a window. check. rope .Not check. I looked around the room for something of use to climb out the window. I just wanted to go, I wish Jacob would have stayed this wouldn't of happened.

I was craving my magic pills, and I needed to cut..bad.

"Still dreaming..Still Dreaming" Chanted in my head.

I tried to move but I was hooked up to some sort of machine.

I could hear yelling down stairs, but I couldn't make out what they were saying.

I looked under the sheets, at the damage I conflicted on myself.

Fuck! How could I still be alive after this? was Yesterday real at all?

I got up the courage to yank out the needle that was sticking in one of my arms.

I sighed heavily.

Renee and Phil were dead and Charlie died because of me. If I hadn't gotten involved in this vampire crap, he would still be at work having a donut or something.

I got up quietly and tied the sheets from the bed in a tight knot, I'm surprise Alice isn't up here, she could have seen this coming, Alice Probably wasn't looking into my future because it wasn't important..obviously.

I threw the knotted sheets out the window and started to climb down. I didn't realise how much pain I was in, till I was about half way down.

"I can do this" I mutter incoherently.

I was nearly down.

Both my arms and legs where cramping.

"It's not that far down I can just drop myself" I thought

So I did

THUNK!

My butt hit the ground. This seemed so real, this better be a dream- I threatened to myself.

"Oww" I grumbled rubbing my butt.

I started to run away from the Cullen's house mentally preparing myself if I actually got away, but suddenly something cold caught hold of my waist lifting me from the ground. I realised I defiantly was not hallucination.

I screamed, desperately trying to escapes from the embrace.

"Get off. JACOB! HELP"

"Ssh Bella, please calm down" she soothed

I was carried in the house by none other than Esme Cullen.

"Carlisle " she called concerned.

I kept my eyes shut as squirmed to get away from her

she held me tight.

I loved Esme in a way I guess but she was also a part of the "let's leave Bella" vote.

"Bella Stop!, you going to hurt yourself" she pleaded

I wasn't going give up without some insane, unfair fight.

"Jasper" Carlisle called

"Jesus, Carlisle she's scared!"

Carlisle reluctantly ignored Jasper.

"Bella are you on Drugs" Carlisle asked.

"FUCK OFF, I don't need this right now" I still had my eyes closed.

"Can we see Bella yet" Rose called from another room.

"I don't think that's a good idea" Carlisle said slowly.

I had to plan, if I was ever going to get out of here.

I was suddenly picked up and handed to Carlisle.

He sighed, with me thrashing in his arms.

"Bella you're not calming down so I'm sedating you sorry"

"I AM CALM" I screamed, did he just ask me if I was on drugs, now he's fucking giving them to me.

I felt a sharp poke.

"Esme can you take her please" she asked gently.

"Esme" I groaned.

Everything was dark.

I wasn't let Cullen back into my life. Then again I might have a chose.

"What have we done to her" Esme sobbed.

"I don't have a clue, she's so skinny" Jasper whispered.

"I think she's waking up" Alice said unsure.

"Everyone prepare yourself" Carlisle stated. What are they preparing for? oh yeah the house pet, me. "They might me hallucination" I lied to myself.

I slowly opened my eyes.

"Bella?" Esme whispered.

I looked around to find every single Cullen standing around the couch where I had been sedated.

I visibly tensed.

suddenly anger rose through me.

"Oh My GOD, just fuck off guys."

I jumped off the couch and pulled out the same needle from before.

Edward stopped me.

"Bella can we just talk" He asked.

"What?, FUCK NO!" I spat in his face.

why was everyone either sedating me or hold me down like animal.

"I have to go" I urged, try to push past him.

"No you don't have to go" Alice urged from be hide.

Edward was about to pick me up.

"don't you dare" I warned.

he ignored me.

I was put on the couch, I folded my arms.

"You not going until you give us some answered" Emmett pointed his finger at me"

I bit him like I did Edward.

"What the Hell Bella"

I glared.

"She a biter" Edward frowned

"That's our job" Jasper tried to lighten the mood.

It didn't work.

"You mean I can go, after I answer questions " I smiled.

They Ignored me again.

It was so Fucking annoying when they did that.

"Bella" Carlisle started.

"mmmmm" I was going to play it dumb.

"Why did you try kill you self"

"I didn't" I lied.

I forgot that Jasper could sense I was lying ,woops"

"Liar" Jasper said.

"mmmmm" I repeated.

"Bella, do you take drug's" Edward asked.

"ahhh no" I said look at Jasper, trying to change my emotions true fully.

"Isabella" he warned.

"Ok if that's it than I'll be going" I said getting up

"No, Bella you staying with us for a while" Carlisle stated

"Like Hell I am" I ran to the door it was locked.

I slowly turned around.

"so you holding me against my will" I glared.

"Yes" they all said.

I was swung over Edwards back.

"Your will be Bella again" he kissed my cheek.

"Jasper" Edward said.

"Fuck no" I thought

I was knocked out...again

fucking Jasper.

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**If you have an idea I can write for this story please write to me or review.**

**How will Bella escape ?**

**Will Bella be herself again?**


	4. Family Meetings and Nightmares

_**Hey everybody- I have 4 chapters up now...**_

_**I would like some reviews to give me a booster XD**_

_**-tell people you know on fan to read it :P**_

_**Now for Edward perspective YAY!**_

**Edward Perspective :D**

I swung Bella gently over my shoulder, I was shocked at how light she was. Too. light, like a small soft twig.

I knew we all had hurt Bella especially me, this was all my doing, I would never forgive myself for leaving her.

"You will be Bella again" I said kissing her cheek.

She didn't move or fight, it was obvious Bella had given up and had no energy.

"Jasper" I whispered.

Bella went limp in my arms

Unknowingly she curled herself towards me.

"fucking Jasper" she muttered.

I chuckled.

I cradled her walking up stairs.

"what have I done to you?" I sighed.

I gently placed her fragile body under the covers of my bed.

She groaned.

I wanted to stay with her till she woke up, but I knew that was a bad idea. There were things the family needed to discuss.

I kissed her forehead

"Goodnight my Bella"

I knew it wasn't right me calling her "my Bella", but she was deep down, the old Bella was still there somewhere.

I made my way slowly down stairs, gathering my thoughts.

_"Edward"- Carlisle thought._

I walked over to him.

He sighed heavily.

"We really hurt Bella" I said sadly

"I know son" he puts a comforting hand on my shoulder.

Esme walks over to hug me tightly.

_Poor Edward I hate seeing him this way, Bella is broken, we never should have left her - Esme_

"What are we going to do" Jasper asked.

"What has Bella felt while she has been here" I asked.

He hesitated

"Pain, Sadness, fear, distrust, hate, distress, discomfort more fear, sadness and pain"

"Oh dear" Esme cried

We all heard Bella stirring up stairs.

"what is she feeling now" I asked.

"I can't be sure. The need to get away I guess" he frowned concerned.

"Family meeting, Living room, now" Carlisle ordered.

We all quickly made our way to the living room to sit down.

"We all know Bella needs our help" he started.

"she's so skinny" Alice comment.

We all nodded.

"I want to know what drugs she has taken... So Rose and Emmett" He turned towards them

"yes" they frowned.

"Can you find the time to go to Bella house, see if there, there"

"Yes, we will"

"Alice can you see anything we need to know" Carlisle asked.

"umm one sec", her face went blank.

"well..." scrunching up her face

She gasped

"what Alice" Jasper asked wrapping his arms around her

"I..I Can't see a thing" she stuttered

"What?" I said confused"

Carlisle sighed.

"That's because Bella's dying, she not eating, she's taken a lot of drugs"

We sat in silence of a good 7 mins.

"I might see if her medical files say anything that might help" Carlisle thinks out loud"

I was the only one that didn't nod.

Jasper noticed my hopelessness.

"Edward we have Bella back, that's a start" he assured me.

I smiled.

He was right that was a start. We needed a plan.

"What are we doing tomorrow" I asked.

"Alice can't see Bella's future, so I don't sorry, but will play it by ear."

We heard Bella thrashing around in her sheets mumbling.

Emmett looked up.

"Is that normal" Emmett asked

before we could answer ,there was a high pitch, blood curdling scream.

"BELLA!" I yelled.

We all ran at inhuman speed to Bella

She was lying in a uncomfortable angle, sweat covered her forehead.

"Please, Don't!" She screamed.

We all stood shocked. I ran over to Bella.

"Bella, Wake up!" I shook her gently.

Her breathing turned to short gasps for air.

" I'M SORRY Charlie!, It's all my fault" Her voice cracked.

"BELLA! WAKE UP. JUST WAKE UP" I yelled. Did she think that her father's death was her fault?.

Her eyes were closed tight.

"Jasper" I hissed.

Jasper walked forward and touched Bella's arm sending wave of energy to wake her up.

She screamed again and opened hers eyes.

It was silent.

"Oh Bella, are you ok" I sobbed pathetically

"Umm what are you doing?" she asked.

"What?, Bella you were screaming" I said confused.

"No I wasn't" She turned to the side not facing me.

We did know what to say.

Alice stepped forward.

"Bella, we can hear you no" she raised her eyebrow

she didn't say anything.

"I wasn't screaming" she said through her teeth.

I walked over to Bella and hugged her

"Don't" her voice cracked again, removing my hands quickly.

_"Will go son"- Carlisle._

I nodded at Bella answering Carlisle.

_"good luck" Emmett_

_"she doesn't want to show her weakness, poor Bella- Rose_

_"Bella is so distressed and scared, maybe I shouldn't of given her that hit of energy.- Jasper._

_"Edward will get her back, where not giving up on her, she's my daughter. - Esme_

I sighed.

We still needed to help her with Charlie's funeral.

Well yesterday, we did come at a bad time, but we came just in time to save her.

Bella's heart rate slowed to a normal pace as she fell asleep.

I wanted to hold her, to push away her dreams, even if Bella wasn't admitting she was having nightmares, I knew she was having them, everyone did.

I moved to get into the massive bed with her.

_"don't Edward, I saw what you're going to do, it won't end pretty"_

I frowned.

I decided to leave the room, Bella was way too tempting.

**This story is exciting to write, should I continue ? Restart?**

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_**Updating real soon- maybe: 4th or 5th of May :D not sure (In Australia)**_


	5. Yelling, Magic Pills and Sedating

Bella Perspective :)

"Don't" My voice cracked

I turned to face the other way, I didn't want to see his beautiful fucking face.

Exhausted, I quickly fell asleep.

I woke to the sound of yell (Yet again)

" WHAT ARE THESE" Edward Yelled.

" Son Calm down" Carlisle soothed

"That's just what we found" Rose said.

What are they talking about.

I rolled over till I was on my back.

My phone went off (Fuck you by Lily Allen)

How could I have been so stupid , I could have called Jacob to come get me.

I picked my phone out of my pocket.

"HELLO" I said a bit too loud. There was silent's downstairs

Woops they must of heard me.

"BELLA WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU" Jacobs growled.

I cringe.

What was a going to say..

"It's hard to explain Jacob"

"where, I'll come get you " He promised.

"ummm mmm" I said looking at the door.

"there's blood spatter up you bathroom wall" he cried.

"umm"

"Stop saying um Bella" he sighed.

"I'm sort of at the Cullen house I guess" I said shyly

"YOU WHAT!" He screamed..

then I started to babble.

"I don't want to be here, I have Charlie's funeral to organise,"

"I know, I know" he soothed.

Suddenly Edward came barging in, I hid under the bed in one swift movement.

"I'll call you back" I whimpered.

I hung up.

"Bella, can you please come out, we need to talk to you" he pleaded.

I heard him step closer to the bed.

I didn't answer.

"Bella?"

I flipped up my phone ready to call Jacob again.

"Ok have it your way"

I felt Edward rip me gently from under the bed.

"No" I said weakly

I didn't care anymore ,I just let him carry me down stares limply.

I closed my eyes trying to remember Jacob's warm embrace instead of Edwards cool hands wrapped around me.

I shuddered.

"Bella are you cold" he asked.

"Meh" I answered flatly .

He sighed, sitting me at the table with the rest of" his" family.

"Bella" Carlisle started.

"I have gone through your medical records-"

"YOU WHAT?" I yelled .

"sshhh Bella" Edward commanded putting a hand over my mouth.

I licked it off making him smirk.

I glared at him and the smirk slipped.

Why were they all staring at me.

"Bella" Carlisle repeated again.

I looked up not meeting his eyes.

he sighed.

"you medical history says you are prone to going catatonic"

Why the fuck did he look through my files

"No I'm not" I said quickly.

"Bella were not stupid. They are also various other things" he stated

"really?" I said sarcastically.

"Bella?" Alice warned.

I got off Edwards lap, but was restrained by rose.

"Get off rose" I squirmed.

"No" she said simply.

"I . have. a. funeral. to . organise" I breathed.

"We know" everyone say.

I sighed sadly, sitting down on the floor. But was immediately picked up by someone.

I closed my eyes, I was still wondering if this was still all a dream, I wasn't buying myself.

"Love, we understand that Charlie is gone..." Edward trailed off.

His voice appeared far away so I knew he wasn't the one to pick me up, Why the fuck did he calling me love?

"First of all. NO. you don't understand. And Second don't you dare call me love" I could hear the venom in my voice, I was proud.

I finally opened my eyes to see Jasper face, realising that Alice has picked me up.

I frowned.

I was feeling a bit twitch so I started to move around.

"Bella, are you alright" Carlisle asked concerned.

"Fine" I said.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

"This is serious Bella, we need to ask you a few questions"

"No" I whispered slowly.

"Why" Esme asked.

"Because" I said shakily, getting off Alice.

"Bella can you just sit somewhere sweetie" Esme asked.

I looked up at the ceiling.

sighing, I walked around to a empty seat.

"Sit" Carlisle instructed.

I gave up again and did so.

"Bella, care to explain this" he said holding up a bottle.

I gasped.

I really needed the pills, but there was no way I could get them. Or is there?

I stared at the bottle with curious eyes.

"Bella?" Edward whispered.

"mmmmm" I closed my eyes.

"Where did you get these:" He commanded.

"ahhh" I shrugged. "There not mine"

"Bull Bella, an you know it"

I kept my eyes on the magic pills.

I started to twitch again, there was something wrong ,I desperately needed the pills

"Bella" Jasper warned.

I turned to him.

"What!" I hissed.

"they are yours" he insisted.

"So what if there mine, it's my body" I glared.

"Bella, don't speak to him like that" Alice whispered in my ear.

"Well, Bella we know your addicted to these" he shakes the bottle.

My eyes follow, as I stayed silent.

Suddenly I felt sick , my vision clouded.

"BELLA!" some yelled.

I held up a finger, making them wait.

"Bella can you hear me" Edward said.

I held my finger again.

I needed to get up, but I couldn't see properly.

I felt myself sway and someone caught my waist.

"LET GO" I screamed. The painfull feeling continued.

**To be continued...**

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**Next chapter preview-**

**"NO, I NOT EATTING THAT" Bella screamed**


	6. Bad Withdrawls and Esme's Say

Ok back to Edwards Perspective : -) Thanks for you review- but would like more to continue this story : D

Bella started to twitch in her chair, everyone's head snapped to look at her.

"BELLA!" Alice yelled, as Bella closed her eyes tight in pain.

She held up her finger at us, waiting for the twitching to stop.

"Bella, can you hear me" I said concerned, placing my cool hand on her head, Bella moved it off.

She kept her finger held up in the same, weird position. Swaying, Esme caught her around the waist.

"LET GO" She screamed painfully.

"Carlisle What's going on!" I asked

Bella fell into Esme arms, shaking uncontrollably.

"I can't be sure but I'm afraid she having a seizure Edward"

Bella started to gasp and choke, Carlisle ran to Bella.

Carlisle grabbed Bella and rolled her to the side so she could breathe. Blood and salver poured out her fragile mouth.

"Jasper GO!" I barked, suddenly realising his hungry stares onto Bella, she was still shaking.

"JACOB" Bella screamed out.

Why wasn't that my name she was screaming for help?.

Bella began panting, as her seizer came to a sudden stop.

"Bella can you hear me?" I asked again.

"fuck" she said to herself, curling into a ball.

I Hugged her closely, but I don't think she realised what was happening.

"What are we going to do with you" I sighed sadly.

"F..fuck..o..off" she stuttered dazed.

"Never Bella" I promised. She sure had a mouth.

I took her in my arms feeling the warmth of her sunken skin.

She touch my forehead.

I sighed happily

_Edward I know you Love her, But she's in shock from the sudden seizure, she doesn't know what she saying, don't get your hopes up son- Carlisle_

He was right.

"You're a pretty hallucination" she laughed.

Yep. Bella had no idea what she was saying, all right.

I gently tucked Bella in my Bed, as everyone else came in.

"Sleep love" I kissed her forehead.

I turned around.

"That was a very serious case of withdrawal." Carlisle explained sadly.

I stoked Bella's cheek, she wasn't sleeping , looking at the ceiling Bella had her eyes wide open, it was unnatural.

"Carlisle could you look at Bella please"

He walked over.

"Bella are you ok?" He asked.

"uh huh, go away!" she cried.

_I thought she had gone into a catatonic state- Carlisle._

I growled, making Bella jump.

"Sorry" I soothed, tucking her back in again.

Carlisle cleared his throat, not that it was needed.

"I think that , We should let Bella go to Jacob for a bit, she very distressed at the moment, the funeral needs to be organised."

"NO!" I yelled.

I looked down at Bella. She was asleep.

Jasper gave me a nod.

"I know how you're thinking about this, Jacob's the only one she trust right now. Just let her say goodbye to Charlie"

"Edward" Bella muttered.

I massive smile spread across everyone's faces. She still had dream's about me.

I gave a heavy sigh.

"Well, if everyone else thinks that's the right thing, than that's what will do" I said reluctantly.

I really wanted to keep an eye on her.

"I'll call Jacob" Alice frowned, leaving the room.

Everyone left apart from Esme.

"Edward, can we talk?" she asked.

"Yes" whispered, as Esme sat on the Bed.

It was silent.

"Edward, I know this is hard. But we will get Bella back"

I shifted to sit with her, not waking Bella up.

"How, I broke her, she going through so much" I sobbed.

"I love her as a daughter, I will not lose her, ever" Esme said sadly.

"What are we going to do" he looked down at Bella, stroking her warm cheek.

"She needs time, she just lost Charlie, Renee and Phil are gone to, She might be feeling alone and empty for a while" Esme reminded me.

I don't know how Esme does it, somehow talking to her I see a small sparkle of hope

"We came at a bad time didn't we mom"

Her eyes sparkled, I knew she loved me calling her that"

she nodded.

"The best thing about life is that it comes only one day at a time" she smiled hugging me.

I smiled also.

We both glanced at Bella concerned.

How much time did Bella need, I will give her all the time in the world if I had to.

Esme got up and left, leaving me to spent precious time with Bella.

_"Edward, Jacob said her would pick her up tomorrow round 9:30" -Alice._

I sighed, knelling beside Bella.

I didn't want to leave her with Jacob, I knew it might help though.

At least for a while.

**Did you like it. sorry, I know it was short but the next will be longer...promisess**


	7. unexpected Escape and Pill cravings

_**Deep down I knew Bella still loved me, I could see it in her eyes, but I also saw a lot of other emotions as well. Hurt, Pain, fear, distrust, sadness covered her like a over sized blanket, How could I have been so stupid to leave her.**_

_**I brushed a strand of Bella's hair out of face.**_

_**I wasn't sure that Bella would let all us come to Charlie's funeral. I hoped it wasn't at La push, otherwise the treaty would be broken, that was the last thing I needed to worry about, My only concern was Bella right now.**_

_**"Jacob will be soon Edward, I suggest you wake Bella up or you can let Jacob carry her while she sleeps, It's your decision"- Carlisle**_

**Bella looked so peaceful when she wasn't having nightmares, I wanted to wake up her up to say goodbye, but I reluctantly decided against it, cause I didn't know if she would like to talk to anyone right now.**

**Sighing, I pulled the blankets off Bella, exposing her sickly fragile body.**

**I did this to her. Me. Edward Cullen, I was a monster.**

**I heard Jacob pull up, hearing his unpleasant thoughts, I picked Bella up gently, cradling.**

_**"How Dare those Bloodsuckers take Bella, they don't deserve her, not after they left.**_

**I knew Jacob was 100 percent correct, but his thoughts didn't shock me.**

**I made my way down the stairs, successfully not waking Bella up, as she hung limb in my arms.**

_**"Oh my"- Esme**_

**She was probably shocked by Bella's appearance and paleness , not that she hadn't seen it before hand though.**

**I tried to tune everyone out, as I heard Jacob approach slowly. Carlisle went to answer the door, knowing very well who it was.**

**"Jacob" I heard Carlisle say gently**

_**"Jacobs angry Edward, don't argue with him he might phase "- Jasper.**_

**I sighed heavily as Jacob stormed into the living room, where the rest of us were.**

**"How dare you" he angrily.**

**"Jacob-" I was cut off.**

**"Edward, just fucking hand Bella over, so she doesn't have to deal with you, she already lost her father, why did you guys come back you ruined her life"**

**"We also saved her" Emmett added.**

**"Yes, I know the blood all over the floor, I don't know how you handled it, but she wouldn't have done it if you guys hadn't left" he glared.**

**Carlisle stepped forward.**

**"Jacob"**

**"Yes Carlisle" he sighed angrily**

**" I know your upset, but can you spare a few minutes to answer a couple of questions for us" Carlisle pleaded.**

**"Why should I" He almost shouted.**

**"We want to help her to Jacob" I explained.**

**That was a wrong move I thought.**

**"I don't think you guys deserved to know," Jacob decided.**

**"Very well" Carlisle gave up.**

**I stepped forward.**

**"Will my family and I be able to attend Charlie's funeral" I asked politely .**

**He scrunch up his face.**

**"That, you will have to ask Bella about" he said walking forward.**

**I handed Bella's limp body over to Jacob.**

**"What has Happened to you Bella" He sighed sadly**

**Those were the words I had said to Bella, it was obvious Jacob cared as much as I did for her.**

**"Does Bella have any stuff" He asked still looking at Bella.**

**"No, I don't think she does " Alice confirmed.**

**"Ok well I better go" Jacob grumbles, getting Bella into a better position to carry.**

**with that he put Bella into his rabbit an drove to La push.**

**BELLA POV (GOING TO JACOBS)**

Opening my eyes , I heard the sound of a engine. I was in a car.

That's when I saw Jacob.

"Jacob!" I said surprised.

"Hello Bella" he said wrapping a arm around me.

I stiffened. But it wasn't cause of Jacob, I was craving my pills. fucking withdrawals.

"Sorry" he whispered pulling away.

"What's going on" I asked .

"The Cullen's thought it was best for you to stay with me for a bit" he explained.

"Thank you" I smiled falsely

That's was I wanted, but I couldn't help but feel empty, the hole in my hurt was still burning.

Charlie's funeral was coming up, would I cry, I knew I couldn't , but I seriously wanted to, I wanted to feel sad for my father's passing, but the numbness wouldn't let me.

"are you alright Bella" He said, probably noticing my excessive twitching.

"Jacob , can we go to my house, I need to get a few things" I tried to smile, I really needed my joints plus me druggies, I couldn't go on. I no silly right, I just couldn't help it though. I need to feel a little alive.

"Sure" he said smiling.

We sat in silence till we got to Charlie's house.

"I'll be right back" I said.

"I think I'm come with" he said unsure. God fucking dam it , how will I get my stuff now.

"Sure" my voice was shaking.

We walked to the door, I got out the key and slowly turned it.

I stepped through the door carefully, trying to not look suspicious , I think It was working.

"I'll wait down here" he said

"Oh ok sure, give me 10 minutes or so" I said.

he nodded

The sucker believed me.

Wait! what was I doing calling Jacob a sucker, he helped me.

I shrugged my remark off.

pills, pills, pills, pills, pills I thought insanely , I think I almost ran upstairs.

I got out a random bag, stuffing it with random clothes, thinking I could always come back here for more or borrow Jacobs, I don't think he would mind.

I sprinted to the bathroom, I realised it had been clean, I wondered.

"JACOB!" I yelled down the stairs.

"YEAH!" he yelled back.

"did you clean the bathroom?" I asked.

I felt myself tense, I was positive Jacob did the same.

"Yes Bella"

"Thanks" I sighed.

"I grabbed the pills from the cupboard.

I smiled, this was sick, smiling over drugs.

"Ready" I said walking quick placed down the stairs.

"ok" he said simply.

**Back to Edward POV ( Back at the house )**

Carlisle placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry Edward, Jacob will look after her" he soothed.

I didn't answer I had nothing to say.

"When is Charlie's funeral Alice" Emmett asked.

"Emmett I can't see, wolfs remember" Alice tapped her forehead.

"oh"

_"Good I wish I could see Bella's future"- Alice._

_"I hope Bella gets well, poor dear" - Esme._

_"God Jacob was so angry, we had Bella"- Jasper_

_"I wish I wasn't so mean to Bella"- Rose_

Yeah Rose was mean to Bella, not because of her personality, Bella was human. I felt depressed that I didn't have Bella here to hold.

"Can you stop" Jasper was tasting my sadness.

"Sorry" I muttered.

**Review :P**

**I think that was longest chapter.**

**will Bella get caught with her druggie drug drugs?**

**What going to happen at Charlie's funeral? **


	8. Addition Got the better of Me

**Edward's Perspective still..**

It had been a long 3 hours since Bella left with Jacob. Jasper was sick of my emotions, so he went hunting with Esme.

I walked over to the piano, sitting on half the bench, as if Bella was there sitting with me, but she wasn't.

_"I hope Edward's ok"- Carlisle._

Me, what about Bella. Alice walked over sadly and sat on the other side of the bench, I almost growled at her for sitting in Bella's spot.

"How you going" She asked flatly. Alice was usual jumpy.

I frowned.

"Fine" I pressed down on a key to distract myself, of whatever she was thinking.

"Are you ok" I finally asked.

"Nup, Something is seriously wrong!" Alice panicked.

"What it is Alice, is it Bella" I shook her.

"I know that I should be thinking about Bella right now, but..." She trailed off.

"What Alice?"

"I want Bella back, ever since we've found her, I haven't felt like shopping" She cried.

This was serious, Alice went shopping everyday and always, came back happy , she was always happy, Well that's what I thought anyway".

"Oh Alice" I said, I went to go hug her. She returned it.

"I no Stupid its stupid, but I loved spending time with Bella"

"don't worry, will get her back somehow" I sighed.

**Bella Perspective**

I hopped into Jacob's, Crap rabbit. Than we were headed for La push, At least it was better than staying at the Cullen's house.

Jacob wanted to talk I knew it, but I didn't, so I foddered my arms and looked out the window. I had too much on my mind, more so Charlie's funeral, I wanted to do something special for him, anything. I hadn't been all that fair with him after Edward left, with my depression an all, than he caught me cutting my wrist, that's when he took me to see a doctor, I promised I would never to it again, But promises can be broken and emptiness got the better of me and I started to cut again. I was still fighting there urge, I would have to cut when I got to Jacobs "house".

"So, what have you been up to?" Jacob asked.

I just wanted to tell him to SHUT THE FUCK UP, he knew I had been in a house full of vampire for about 4 days.

"Nothing, You" I said flatly.

"Just looking for you, and been on patrol" he frowned. I knew I had been worrying him, but I just couldn't find the emotion to care. I was feeling numb again.

It was silent as we made our way into the short driveway, of the Blacks house.

I jumped out, ready to do my sinister activates.

"You're in a rush" Jacob noticed.

I ignored his question.

"Jacob can I have a shower, I haven't had one for twenty years" I tried to smile and not show him suspicion.

"Sure" he smiled back convinced, God he could be thick sometimes.

I ran into the Blacks house, into the bathroom.

fucking PILLS! I thought.

I knew I hadn't explained the blood in the bathroom to Jacob , he didn't know I cut, so I could take my time.

I quickly stripped of a excessively started cutting my thighs and my wrist.

I sighed, in satisfaction as I felt the pain and blood oozing out of the opened wounds.

"You alright in there!" I jumped, did he have to fucking startle me.

"Yep won't be long Jacob!" I falsely promised.

"ok"

I jumped into the shower feel the hot water on my cuts. I opened the half empty bottle of pills and shovered a heap in my mouth, not caring what would happen. I finished off with washing my hair to quickly then hoping out realising I had made one BIG mistake.

"I didn't bring any clothes with me or towel. SHIT!

**Edward Perspective again...**

I had spent half the day looking at my phone hoping Bella would call, my chances were getting slimmer and slimmer.

Who was I kidding, Bella would never call, she's with Jacob.

_RING RING RING!_

I didn't look at the caller ID, shoving it on my ear.

"Bella, HELLO!" I said pathetically desperate.

"Sorry Sweetie it's Esme" A sweet voice came from the phone.

"Oh sorry, it's ok, how's you hunting trip" I asked trying to hide my server disappointment.

"It going ok, I was just wondering if you heard anything from Bella?"

"No Nothing yet" I sighed sadly.

"Oh sorry Hun" I could hear the frown in her voice.

"Bye than" I said.

"See ya, don't give up hope" Esme ordered.

I hung up, moving to another part of the House.

**Bella Perspective..**

I still hadn't come up with the courage, to ask Jacob for clothes and a towel.

20 minutes had passed since we came, I felt that he was growing suspicious.

Fuck ! here it goes..

"Jacob!"

"YEAH!"

"Can you pass me a towel and m-m-maybe some clothes would be good.

3 long seconds later...

"Sure" he said a little too willing.

He knocked on the door 2 minutes later.

Sorry I know It's short but, I wanted to get another chapter up, NEXT one will be way longer.


	9. Twitchy and Unwanted Funeral Invites

**Jacob's Perspective :P**

I knocked on the door. I was a bit worried she had Been if there over 20 minutes now.

"I have your clothes" .

I heard Bella's clumsy feet rush around the bathroom, She obviously wasn't expecting me so soon.

"Bella?" I asked again.

"Just a second" she said whispered quickly. Why was she all of a sudden in a rush. I wasn't going to perv on her, not that she would no.

No! I thought how could even think that, she going through a lot right now, with the Cullen's-

I shuddered in anger, how could all this happen to such a innocent being. Bella was anything but what everyone else was like she was her own person. The only thing that had changed was Bella's personality. But I knew she was still in there somewhere.

"Bella?" I asked yet again, but patiently.

"Can you close your eyes Jake" she sounded frantic .

"ah..ok" I said confused.

I opened the door looking at the grounded resisting the urge to open even to the ground, she trusted me.

Bella snatched the clothes from my grasp, pushing me out the door. Bella never snatches what the fuck?.

She hasn't been herself since they left, I reminded myself.

A few minutes later Bella came out who looked to be like fully clothed. Why would she go to bed in jeans and a long sleeved top, I was confused.

She greeted me with a small one armed hug, which surprised me, course she didn't really like to hug or be touched anymore.

We both collapsed on the couch together, watching a Movie.

Bella moved around a lot flinching, why was she so twitchy?.

"Bella are you alright" I asked concerned, I really was.

"ah huh" she said under her breath. I knew she wasn't though. We were in the middle of the movie when Bella eyes started to droop.

"You tired" I whispered in her ear gently.

She didn't answer, falling limp into my warm, lap. I needed to answers I knew she was upset about Charlie's death and the Cullen's coming back, but there was something more that I wasn't being told. God Help me for what I'm about to do .

**Edward Perspective**

I was sitting up in my room , trying to tune out my families thought, course I knew they would be all about Bella, my Bella.

My phone went off down stairs, I was there in less than I second

"HELLO BELLA!" God I sounded pathetic, Of course it wouldn't be Bella.

"err..Hi it's Jacob" He said confused, it was a bit awkward.

"oh, Hi how's Bella" I said frantically. I was hopping Bella would be a wake so I could talk to her.

"She is on the couch with me sleeping" he said slowly. Well I was glad she was getting some rest.

"Can I ask you few questions" he said frustrated.

"Yes of course" I said curious if it was about Bella.

"Why is Bella so twitchy, she never has sits still while she's been here, is she on something or is that normal for her" he said concerned.

Should I tell him about the drugs and cutter. Well she didn't have any drugs on her I was sure Emmett and Rose had taken them from her house.

"Edward?" Jacob pulled me from thought.

"I don't know" I lied. I know it wasn't the right thing to do, I didn't know how he would react. There was a long pause.

"are you coming to the funeral, most of the people in forks are invited, I know I don't like you that much, well I hate you because of what you did to Bella, But I'm sure she would like some support from you guys, even if you she doesn't know it yet"

I had to say that Jacob had courage.

"Of course we all will be there, but will you be telling Bella that about our attendance" I asked, I was happy that I was given the chance to support her.

"I don't think that would be a bright Idea, you of all people would know how stubborn she is " he said seriously.

I knew he was right, but I wasn't sure how Bella's reaction would be if we showed up to her father's funeral.

"Well I better go " he finally said.

"bye Jacob" I finished.

I didn't realise my family had come in, standing right be hide me.

"Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"We will be attending Charlies funeral" I answered his thoughts .

Alice bounded to hug me, I returned it.

**Bella's perspective**

Why was I still twitchy, did I need more pill or something , I was starting to get fucking pissed off, Jacob was starting to notice how my body was involuntarily shifting.

I woke, I felt like I was burning, it started to sear painfully, I wondered if I was changing into a vampire. I turned to open my eyes to find Jacob.

I was shocked.

"Jacob, you burning me!" I jumped up.

"Oh sorry Bella" I forgot, I – I didn't realise.

"it's ok, don't worry" I stopped his stupid fake apology.

"did you want some breakfast, you skipped dinner yesterday" he tried to smile encouragingly.

I dreaded this question, I could always avoid food at Charlie's, not here though.

"sure" I said flatly, I knew I could always puke up the vial food he was going to serve up. I started following after Jacob, who already was in the kitchen.

**No cliffy here sorry :P**

**Sorry for not updating faster **

**R&R**


	10. Cuts and Idea's

**Bella Perspective**

The horrid smell of toast with nutella filled my nose, I mentally gagged. The smell circled around me as I thought of Charlies funeral again.

"Jacob?" I asked. This was going to sound utterly pathetic, but he was the only one who I trusted.

"Yes bells?" he beamed, obviously happy I was the one to break the silence instead of him. I had been thinking a lot last night, coming up with a few idea's for the funeral, but one really stood out of the most.

"do you reckon I can..s-s- sing, at Charlie's funeral." I stuttered.

It was silent. I don't think Jacob was expecting that at all.

Suddenly a massive smile shaped on his face, reaching his eyes. I was pulled up into a burning hot hug.

That's when my sleeve pulled up. OH SHIT!

Jacob stopped, following my eyes. I don't think he would have noticed if I hadn't panicked. FUCK! Why am I so stupid.

"Bella" he gasped, reaching for my sleeve.

I pulled back violently, making him even more suspicious .

Before I knew it Jacob had picked me up into one of Edward's unescapable grasp. No I must not think of HIM!.

Jacob was reach for my sleeve again.

"Jacob, STOP. JUST STOP! " I pleaded, trying to yank back.

He ripped my fucking sleeve!, "he doesn't want anything do to with you now" I thought to myself.

"Bella" he repeated in disgust. I never even meant for him to find out.

Angry rose through me, he didn't have anything to do with me or anything involving me since a few days ago he hadn't even spoken to me for 2 years.

"JUST LEAVE IT JACOB, IT HAS NOTHING WHAT SO EVER TO DO WITH YOU" I screamed. Jacob seemed shocked.

"One Bella, it does have everything to – I cut him off.

"Why? " I demanded.

"Cause your my best friends, I don't want anything to happen to you" he smiled sadly.

I turned to leave, but what I didn't realise was he was still holding my wrist.

"LET GO" I yelled in vain.

"No" he said simply. I had to get out of here, just anywhere.

"Jacob I have to go" I twitched running to the door.

He stood in the way, with a look of hate in his eyes. I was expecting hate, but not to that extent.

"why did you do this" he said concerned.

I didn't answer, pushing him out of the way.

"Bella stop!" he said firmly.

I was suddenly scooped up, cradling in Jacobs hands.

"Put me down!" I kicked him. Was he giving me the whole silent treatment, how old is he.

**Edward's perspective**

I should have told him the truth, but was he that concerned that he called me. He hated me. Charlie's funeral was in a matter of days.

"How's Bella" Esme asked.

"I-I don't know" I stuttered.

I would give anything to hear Bella's voice.

**Back To Bella Perspective :$**

"Can we just leave it" I pleaded.

He nodded sadly. God I felt bad, but I was surprised that he let it go. For a while. I knew he would probably be speaking to the Cullen's, not that they didn't no.

"What were you saying about Charlie's funeral Bells" he half smiled.

"well..I-I thought m-maybe" I sounded pathetic.

"What Bella?" he shook me gently.

"S-s-sing" I finished, blushing.

There was that Beam again.

"Bella that would be a great Idea" he sighed happily. Why was he so happy all of a sudden, Well at least I got his mind off my cutting.

I sighed relieved.

I squirmed out of Jacob's grasped, feeling a poke hope. How strange.

"If it's alright I might go to my house, see if I can find some things to help" I fake smiled.

He looked taken back.

"At least let me come with you" he said getting up.

"really Jacob this is something I have to do alone" I frowned.

"Ok well, I'll drop you off" he didn't protest further.

"Thank you" I finished. I could finally have some privacy, find a good song and maybe people will leave be alone till the funeral.

I followed Jacob to his rabbit, hopping in. I had done well at acting normal so far, I felt like a empty shell though, who knew how long I would last.

We arrived 15 minutes later.

Jacob poked his head out of the window.

"Bye Bella, I'll see you later maybe" he eyed me.

"maybe" I turned waving.

With that he drove off. I think I almost sprinted to the door.

"keys" I muttered to myself.

I swung open the door with a little too much force, cringing as I heard it smack into the wall.

I sighed, taking in my surroundings. I was glad to be home, but I missed Charlie.

The phone rang. I was obviously Alice. She would see me home. Fuck her.

"meh" I said out loud.

It rang out, as I made my way up the stairs.

**Sorry I haven't updated for awhile guys.**

**Poor Bella, what will she do next?**

**R&R I would like more reviews, so I can complete this story **


	11. Visions and Visitors

**Bella Perspective...**

I collapsed on my Bed, exhausted. Charlie's funeral was in 3 days. After that I would be gone as well, I just could not take it, I had no one left, The Cullen's and Jacob couldn't fool me that they actually cared, the only person who did was Charlie, that's why there was no reason to live.

I heard the phone ring again, ignoring it I went to have shower.

**Alice's Perspective.**

_Vision_

_Bella hops into the shower, with a razor cutting her body._

I came out of the vision, sitting on Jaspers lap. How did I get there?

"No!" I said sobbing. I suddenly realised that I was surrounded by everyone apart from Edward.

Jasper took my hands, bringing them up to my face.

"Alice, what did you see" he asked firmly, but concerned.

"Where is Edward h-he has to hurry" I panicked.

"ssh Calm down, Alice please tell us what you saw" Jasper soothed me.

_Vision again._

_Bella vomiting, - wiping up her blood up from the floor._

"ALICE!", I was pulled out again, by Rose shaking my shoulders. What was wrong with Bella, what had we done. I knew she had tried to commit suicide, but how could we be so stupid to leave her with some else , we left her with Jacob though, couldn't he see Bella was troubled.

"B-B-Bella C-c-cutting" I cried.

They gasped.

I felt Jasper calm the room immediately.

"Thank you Jasper" Carlisle sighed.

He nodded at him

"I think it's time we go see Bella" Carlisle said calmly. We all knew that he was really concerned and regretted leaving her just as we all did. Stupid Edward.

"Where is Edward" I asked again.

"I don't think it's a good idea Edward comes with us Alice" Jasper whispered.

I guess they were right, But what if Edward comes home.

"I think it is best if Esme and I go" Carlisle stated awkwardly.

"NO!" I screamed," I wanna see her". Was I the only one who wanted to see her.

I got up from Jaspers lap, only to be pulled down again by his gentle grip.

"Alice, Carlisle's right she wouldn't want to see us" Emmett frowned.

"But, why" I cried again.

"do even remember the way Bella reacted when she was over here" Rose sitting next to me.

"Yes. She was very frighten and panicky" My husband explained. Now that I thought about it he was right.

I sighed, giving up a little too easy.

"I also need, you to stay here, with Jasper cause I don't think he could handle the emotions coming off her" Carlisle walked to Esme.

"Will, you promise that we can see her soon" I stared. I knew they could restrain me from going. Which sucked.

"But Carlisle" I asked,

"Yes" he replied.

"Your too late, she has already cut, but she's alive" I said relived, not about the cutting though.

I heard Esme suck in a breath, Which brought Carlisle attention.

"Esme, can you handle the blood" he asked kissing her cheek.

"Yes dear, of course" she smiled.

**Bella perspective.**

I had finished mopping up my blood. I didn't faint from it anymore or feel sick I sort of adjusted to it. I wanted to go for a ride on my bike, but I had no gas left from previously. Well that fucking sucked,

I suddenly heard a knock at the door. Who would be here?

I looked at the clock, it was only 2:00pm.

Then it hit me, I was cutting..Alice!. FUCK NO HERE!.

I did I dive for under my bed. Wait. There Vampires they could smell me. I dived back up.

"Bella?" Esme called. So it wasn't Alice. But Esme. I did consider going to the door at now. But why should I let them in?.

"It's just us Bella" Carlisle said concerned, there is was again, fake concern.

I looked at my window, desperate for a way out.

**Carlisle Perspective.**

Bella would not, or couldn't answer the door. I should not have listen to our son. I knew Esme was devastated about leaving practically a daughter be hide, I wish we had brought Alice. She would no what to do.

"What are we going to do"? I sighed.

I placed my hand around Esme waist, she was upset. I saw a moment in the window's.

"Bella's, ok Esme, I see her"

My phone rang- it was Alice.

"Hello Alice"

"_Hi, just go in nothing's going to happen if you stand there Carlisle"_

"Ok, Alice bye"

"I think we have- Esme already had the keys in her hand. She was a mind reader I swear.

**Bella perspective.**

I decided to ignore Esme and Carlisle. I moved myself to the would they care about me. I was probably being stupid.

But I heard the door click, making me jump.

**Ummm I think that's a cliffy, Sorry I haven't updated I've had school assignment n stuff. It sucks.**

**Please review, I would like to continue the story, is it bad or good. :S**

**Tell me if you have any idea's for this story :S**

**Thanks for review XD**

**Please check out my other stories XD**


	12. Sorta Talking and Climbing out a Window

My Heart sped up rapidly.

"Bella?" Carlisle called again. I was not going to face them, they had caused me to much pain. I observed my room again.

Then I smiled, as an idea popped my head.

The window. Jacob made it look pretty cool when he jumped in.

I walked over as quietly as I could, thanking myself that I kept it open for some unknown reason previously.

Suddenly I heard footsteps hit the stairs, there was nothing I could do, either face them or jump. The answer was easy , JUMP! .

I got myself ready, awkwardly clinging to the tree and the outside bit of my room. They weren't going anywhere near me.

I felt the hole in my chest rip open randomly, making silent tears run down my face.

_SMACK!. _I lost my grip, falling to the ground.

I waited for the impact, scrunching up my face.

But the oddest thing happened, I seemed to be waiting for ages. Something cold was holding me. I think I mentally blanked out cause I heard voices.

Esme face appeared, looking down at me.

"Bella, can you hear me" she asked kissing my forehead.

Than everything speed up, I was at realization that she was the one holding me.

"Let go of me" I said through my teeth.

She looked hurt, but didn't move herself. Is that how it was going to be was it!.

I squirmed, with all my strength which was nothing, compared to a vampires strength. But I thought she would get the idea to put me down.

Without warning I started to cry, loudly.

"Please, Esme just let me go" I sobbed.

I was softly lifted, so I was more comfortable. Why was this happening to me, I was perfectly find till they came back.

Carlisle's face came into view, touching my face.

I flinch away from the coldness.

They both frowned.

Esme gripped loosen on me, so I took the chance to squirm away.

"Bella can you please stop moving, I think you nearly relapsed" he said seriously.

"NO I DIDN'T"I screamed. They still hadn't listened to me.

I was carried inside, to the couch.

As soon as they put me down, I got back up again.

"LEAVE!" I demanded. They had no right to come in here. What the Fuck were they doing here anyway!.

I started to cry again, Esme walked over to comfort me.

I didn't accept.

Carlisle stepped forward, I stepped back facing my head down.

"Bella, we just want to talk" he sighed, concerned.

My breath hitched.

"No..." I said dazed. I walked to the kitchen to get a drink. I had a technique, just to ignore them till they went.

"Bella, please don't ignore us" Esme pleaded, I guess I felt bad but as I said she was a part of the let's get rid of Bella vote .

I walked back in, debating whether I would talk.

"I'm not ignoring you, I just don't want you hear, cause I hate you and your family" I half lied, turning to walk upstairs.

I was knocked off my feet, gently.

"What are you doing, let ME GO!" I thrashed around. Carlisle came with a needle, FUCK they were going to sedate me again. Did he carry one of them everywhere he went, or whenever he saw me.

"Bella, calm down" he soothed

"I am calm" I glared.

"will you let us talk?" Esme kissed me. She had no right.

"Stop it, Esme" I moved away.

They ignored my protest and started to talk.

"You do no we all love you" Esme tried to smile.

"No you not, so don't lie" I hissed.

"I think, I might go to bed" I added getting up.

"Bella its only 3:00pm,its way before you go to bed" Carlisle eyes me curiously.

I shrugged, pulling my sleeves further down, till my fingers were only visible.

They seemed to notice.

I reluctantly decided to break the silence.

"Do you guys want a glass of blood, or are you gunna leave already".

They seemed shocked.

"Bella, you are coming with us, it's too dangerous for you to be here by yourself" Carlisle stated.

"Why would you care" I moved to open the door, so that they could leave.

"haven't you been listening to us Isabella" Carlisle frowned concerned. Now that I had thought about it, I hadn't been listen. What did they have to say, that was important.

"I have stuff to organise" my voice broke.

"We know honey, we just want to help" Esme motioned me to sit near her.

I declined again.

"We know we've hurt you Bella" she said getting up.

I sighed, looking down again. I hated that they pretended to care about me, but why were they so dam good at it.

"Can, you at least come have some dinner" Carlisle eyed me, probably thought I had lost weight or something.

"No, you guys don't eat" I shook my head.

"I know, everyone just wants to see you" Esme looked at me

"No"

**Short Chapter longer chapter coming upp guys. Tell me if it was crap...**

**Please R&R.. I would like more so I can complete this story**

**The best chapters are coming up soon.**

**Also check out this story- .net/r/6033344/**

**(The Change by one-moondance)**


	13. More blood and Taking Bella

**Carlisle Perspective ^_-**

"Just fuck off and leave me alone!" she hissed harshly. This was not Bella, what happened to the Bella we left, she has to be in there somewhere.

"I know your- Bella cut me off.

"NO LEAVE" She demanded.

I glanced at Esme, who was just keeping it together. This wasn't going to be easy, but Bella had come leave with us. She was safe by herself.

We were still for a few minutes, I didn't want to sedate Bella cause it would just make her irritable when she woke up.

"didn't you hear me?" she sneered, I almost flinch at her words, Bella had become very bitter. We all wanted her in our life's, but she had changed so much and it was all our fault.

I could smell blood, I knew she had been cutting, we just wanted to keep her safe, from herself as well.

I glanced at Esme, giving her one of my idea looks, too quick for Bella to notice.

"Goodbye Bella" I sighed, walking to the door with Esme.

Bella glanced at the clock, than to the floor again

"Bye" Esme frowned.

With that we left

**Esme Perspective.**

I didn't know what my husband was up to. But I knew he had an idea. We left Bella's house, ringing Alice, so she could keep an eye on her.

We arrived back to our house shortly. We hadn't said a word the whole way.

"What are we going to do about Bella" I asked Carlisle, concerned.

"I think we should bring her here, while she is asleep" he replied, wrapping one of his hands around my waist, in comfort.

I walked in to my home, to be hugged by an anxious Alice.

"What's wrong?" I asked returning her hug.

"you h-have to go back, s-she taking m-more drugs and it c-c-cutting!" Alice stuttered, probably coming out of a vision. Edward had come out of his room to see what was going on, not that he didn't see Alice's vision.

"We have to go!" Alice shrieked.

Carlisle grasp around my waist had become a bit tight, he was stressed.

"Jasper your coming with me" Carlisle said quickly. No one protested.

"okay" Jasper replied simply.

"Can you handle it though" he added. I was concerned that he couldn't handle emotions and her blood all at the same time.

"yes" he finished.

**Bella perspective **

I sprinted up the stairs as soon as they had left, why did they have to ruin the walls I had built for myself.

"razor" muttered to myself.

I ran towards the bathroom, shutting the door.

"pills" I muttered, it felt like I was making a check list for a school camp. I will still debating whether I would go there tomorrow.

Thank God, Rose and Emmett hadn't taken out all my pills and razors, I think I would have died otherwise.

I started to cut a long straight like down my left wrist, I sighed in relieve. I did this four or five times on each wrist, but somehow I wasn't fully satisfied , I still felt a bit numb.

They bleed heavily, as usual. I got up to get towels wrapping them around both my wrist.

I felt a rush of wind,

but wait I had all the doors and window closed, how is that possible?. I sat on the ground near the bathtub, taking out a few of my pills.

Suddenly I was feeling exhausted, my vision blurred.

"What..." I slurred.

That's when I saw Carlisle and Jasper standing by the door.

Everything disappeared, as I fell into blackness.

**Carlisle Perspective**

Bella recognised us, I was surprised. When people drug themselves up they usually forget a lot of things. But I wasn't sure if she had taken any.

"Are you going to be ok keeping her asleep, if I clean her up a bit" I asked.

"Yes of course" he kept one hand on Bella's head.

I got Jasper to hold Bella, while I went to find some clean clothes. If Alice was here she would have burnt all these clothes, she did needed a little shopping trip.

I nearly smiled at that.

I found a pair of jeans and a black top, rushing back to the bathroom.

The bleeding had decreased, drying on her wrist.

I washed Bella, as I would have if I were at the hospital. Jasper helped me by changing her clothes, I wondered if he felt uncomfortable, cause I didn't think we would have to do this.

"Ok, I think we should take her back now" I stood up.

**Jaspers Perspective**

I prayed to God, that this mental image wouldn't show in my mind while Edward was around, it's not that it was embarrassing changing practically my sister, she needed help.

I lifted Bella's limp body softly into my arms, she looked dead but I knew she was still alive cause of her heart beat.

"OK lets go" I frowned.

I followed Carlisle to the Car, laying Bella in the back seat, with her head in my lap. I couldn't believe how much Bella had changed.

The family kept telling me it wasn't my fault for leaving, after the party incident. But I don't think they really thought about it that much. If I hadn't attacked we wouldn't have left, it was simple.

Bella stirred, placing her hand around my elbow. I did consider Bella as my sister, but I'm not sure if she did.

Carlisle had nothing to say, I just felt sadness and self hate coming off him. I knew he felt bad for listening to Edward, when we left.

The Car came to a halt, at the end of the driveway.

Bella was shaking slightly, we had to get her inside.

I took Bella head first out of the car, placing her over my shoulder .

"Edward" she mutter, so she still slept talk.

I felt the back of my shirt become wet, Bella was starting crying.

"ssh Bella" I soothed, hoping she would hear me, whilst asleep. Not likely.

Carlisle opened the door for me, as we walked into the house.

Everyone gasped at the sight of Bella, she was almost as white as us and really skinny.

"What have we done?" Rose sobbed. Since when did Rose care about Bella, her emotions were no lie.

"This is all my fault" Edward sighed, reaching for Bella.

"Don't touch her" Alice hissed, slapping his hand away

I placed Bella on Esme's lap, she took her wrapping her arms around her, whilst rocking.

**Bella Perspective again..**

I think I was going crazy, cause I was hearing voices.

"Don't touch her" Alice hissed, I heard a slapping sound.

My body wouldn't move, I felt someone move me. Two cold hands wrapped around me, rocking me.

Oh shit, Cullen's.

**Ok, that has probably been the first or second longest chapter I have written :D**

**What's poor Bella gunna do now?**

**Thanks for your review !**


	14. Waking Up and Talking

**Edward's Perspective.**

"Bella, wake up Hun" Esme stroked her hair, trying to keep her calm. Would I ever have my Bella back? I just wanted to touch her, wanted to see her beautiful brown eyes. But instead lyed a pale white girl, unconscious on our couch.

"Bella, can you hear me?" Carlisle asked, taking her hand. Why does everyone get to touch her but me?

"_I wonder what's going to happen when she awakes up"- Emmett._

"_Poor girl, what have we done"- Esme._

I tried to tune out my families thoughts, concentrating on Bella's heartbeat.

"She should be waking up soon" Alice predicted.

"_I'm not letting you touch her, till she wants you too"- _Alice glared at me.

"Alice, she probably won't want any of us touching her" I glared back.

"_Whatever"- Alice._

I heard Bella's heart rate increase.

"Can she hear us" Esme asked Carlisle.

We all stared at Bella.

"I'm not sure, but she might hear us" he frowned.

We all weren't sure what to expect, Bella being a different Bella now.

"How long" I asked Alice.

"two minutes" she sighed heavily, She was still angry at me, like everyone else but they chose not to show it.

_This is sick, what have we put Bella through"- Rose_

Bella stirred, letting out a whimper. Esme hushed her,

"One minute" Alice confirmed. I remember how peaceful Bella looked when asleep, it didn't look that peaceful anymore.

Bella's eyes fluttered.

"Bella?" Esme hugged her.

She seemed confused for a split second, than it all made sense.

**Bella Perspective**

"Bella?" I heard Esme say.

I opened my eyes, ready to make an escape, but I realised Esme had her arms around me, stroking my hair. What am I going to do?

"Dude, I think we've confused the hell out of her" Emmett frowned. I looked at my surroundings, knowing that I was in there house.

"Carlisle" Jasper warned. Ahh yes, Jasper was tasting my emotions again. I was pissed, they just took me from my fucking house, even seen me nude while changing my clothes.

"LET GO!" I tried squirming out of Esme grasp.

"No Bella, you have to stay calm Hun" she propped me up back on her lap. How could she tell me stay calm.

I started to twitch again, where were my God dam pills!.

I looked around desperately, my vision blurred.

"looking for something Bells" Emmett cocked his eyebrow.

I groaned.

"Bella, are you alright?" Carlisle asked. _"Well yeah I'm good, since you just kidnapped me from my house_" I thought sarcastically

Why were they doing this, they all hated me, I feared that they would never let me go, especially Edward.

I saw Jasper tense. I almost laughed, He couldn't take my emotions.

My vision went back to normal slightly.

**Edwards perspective again.**

Bella looked dazed, Carlisle was watching her curiously.

"Esme, Please let me go" she pleaded again.

"No" She said simply.

Bella looked around, desperate.

"don't even think about it" Alice warned her.

She started squirming again, Esme was having trouble with keeping her still.

"You going to hurt yourself" Carlisle helped restraint Bella.

"I DON'T GIVE A FLY FUCK. JUST LET ME GO" She cried out.

"We need to talk Isabella" Carlisle sat down.

**Bella perspective**

I made a break for the door, when Esme let go of my arms, knowing she was making me distressed.

Alice grabbed one of my arms

SNAP!

I screamed out in pain, knowing it was broken.

"Oh my God, I'm sorry Bella" Alice gave me to Carlisle.

I shrugged, helpless.

"it's broken" Carlisle confirmed.

"Bella you aren't going anywhere" Edward told me.

"NO!, I'm 18 I can do what I wish" I yelled in vain.

I suddenly soaked with calmness from Jasper.

"Jasper, not now we need to talk to her" Edward hissed.

The calmness was soaked back up, making me realised how crap I felt. As soon as a glanced at Edward, the hold in my heart ripped open again.

"Oh Bella" Edward knelt down in front of me. I didn't want this, I never wanted this.

Memories flooded their way in, as Edward touch my hand.

"No, not touch me" he looked hurt, serves him right.

Carlisle decided to start the conversation.

"Bella, why are you hurting yourself" he looked concerned. I did considered ignoring him.

"I don't" I lied.

"yes, you do" Edward growled.

"Nope" I confirmed my lie, I got up off the couch, sitting on the floor.

"Bella" Jasper warned.

Carlisle stepped forward, I shuffled back.

"We just want to help" Carlisle sounded sincere.

"Go back to where you came from" I hissed. They seemed shocked by my random outburst, but I didn't care. My life had fallen apart because of them, they couldn't fix it.

"We done?" I sighed.

"No Bella" Alice sat next to me, probably encase I run again.

We sat in silence. This wasn't like my last visit at least, where they had sedated me every second.

"We are Sorry about Charlie" Esme said truthfully. I hadn't even thought about it that much, not even cried.

"it's ok" I looked at the ground, guessing they were glad they had gotten a decent answer out of me.

"Would my mind tell us how he died Hun?" Esme asked, Now they were pushing it.

"Victoria" I sighed simply

They hissed, making me jump.

"I'm sorry" Edward looked pained.

"There's nothing You can do about it" I shrugged. I just couldn't cry about Charlie, I was still as numb as ever.

"Jacob, gave us an invite to your father's funeral- I cut him off.

"Well whatever he said, is not true you can't come" I whispered harshly. Why was I whispering.

"Please Bella" Esme pleaded.

"No!" I sounded like a 5 year old. Why did Jacob have to give invitations out, without asking me.

That reminds me I was singing, only for Charlie though.

"Please think about it" Alice suggested.

"Why, you already no answer" I glared.

She ignored me.

"Bella did you want something to eat?" Esme asked looking at my body.

"No thanks" I put my knees to my chest.

All eyes were on my me, they had no idea how much calories were put in food, since they only drank blood.

"You have to eat" Edward argued.

"I'll eat when I get home" I lied.

"No you won't, course you not going." Jasper injected. Did he have to say that?.

"I'm not going to be your pet like before, ok" I turned to Jasper, stabbing him with anger.

"You're not a pet, you part of this family Bella, we want you back" Esme went to sit with Bella like Alice did.

"I don't trust any of you" I mumbled harshly.

**Ok I'm nice, updated twice in 2 days, I am so Bored and I have had nothing to do. Please review :D**


	15. Not Caring and Victoria

**Bella Perspective.**

"We understand that" Carlisle stated. What a lie, They wouldn't know what I have been through.

"I don't think you" I glared.

No one knew what to say. There was no way, I was going to get out of here, yet. They were not welcome at Charlie's funeral and I will not let them into my life again.

A few minutes passed, making me slightly uncomfortable but at the same to grateful that I didn't have to answer there stupid questions.

Alice touched my shoulder. I didn't acknowledge it, I didn't want to.

I got out my phone, checking the time.

It was 4:00am, I was tired.

I didn't realise how little I had on, I quickly wrapped my arms around my body. I attracted unwanted stares .

I let out a heavy sigh, not bothering to keep it in.

"We are sorry" Alice turned trying to look at me.

"Look at me Bella" she said.

I ignored her, my phone started to ring.

"I have to take this" I said, making it sound like I was sad to not stay.

"No Bella" Edward growled.

"pfft" I rolled my eyes. Since when does he get to tell me what to do.

I ran outside to the from porch, know one followed but I knew they were listening.

"Hello" I said a bit too excited, having gotten away from Cullen's.

"Hey Bells" came a friendly voice.

"oh, hey Jacob" I frowned, I had forgot to call him before. Not that was going to in the first place.

"Where are you?" he asked concerned.

"err..School" I sounded truthful, I think.

"Oh ok, I might come drive you home is that ok?" he asked, I knew he was smiling. But, shit I wasn't even at school, but my lying had become better.

"It's ok Jacob, I'm about to go home anyway" I offered. I think he saw right through me.

"hmmm, you little liar where are you really?" he questioned.

"umm, I have to go by Jacob" I said quickly.

"wait- he started to say, but I hung up. I needed a snap decision, so Alice wouldn't see.

"Jacob" I muttered, the only way Alice wouldn't know what I was up to .

I had already made my decision, so she could not see me.

I started to run, I knew it was far but I had no Car.

"That little Bugger" was all I heard.

I laughed, making it to the clearing.

I walked freely for about 10 minutes, till something or someone wrapped their hands around my wrist, stopping me from moving.

"Bella?" It was Emmett, I didn't have time for this.

I kept trying to pull myself forward, but was turned around to face the Cullen family.

Fake concern crossed there features.

"Emmett I swear, you Better let the fuck go" I warned.

He just smiled at me, didn't he understand.

"No Bella, I cannot do that."

I closed my eyes in frustration, observing the ground.

"Bella, just come back, Carlisle needs to take care of your hand anyway.

Something didn't feel right.

"Emmett, let her go" Esme demanded.

I was freed.

I looked around the clearing, The Cullen's watch me curiously.

"BELLA!" Alice screamed. I was caught around the waist, but it wasn't by any of the Cullen's.

"Hello Bella" She said. Oh It was Victoria.

"Well hey there" I said flatly.

"LET HER GO" Edward growled.

"How about...no" Victoria giggled coldly. I know she killed Charlie, But I just didn't care about anything anymore.

I looked down at my families horrified expressions. Wow it actually looked like they cared.

"So, Bella you ready to die" she asked. Well that was simple.

"suppose" I muttered.

"No you not Bella" Esme sobbed. Some part for me, believed her but it wasn't enough.

Victoria frowned, placing me on the ground, but held a hand around my waist. I guess she expected me to be terrified, I had been through worse. But I knew today would be the day I died.

She faced me directly towards the Cullen's.

"Won't you missed you family" she asked annoyed.

"I don't have a family" I replied.

The Cullen's gasp.

"Aren't we your family" Alice asked.

I didn't answer, they should know better.

Victoria stared confused at Edward.

"Why is she not in your family anymore" She asked.

"Bella is just confused" Edward answered, probably trying to warn me about where this might lead.

"No I'm not" I sniffed.

"Yes you are" Alice said quickly.

Victoria was starting to get annoyed.

"Why did you kill Charlie" I asked harshly.

"I couldn't find you , so you have payed you debt Bella, Well done" she praised.

"Bella, don't listen to her it isn't your fault" Emmett called. Of course it was my fault, how else would it seem.

"Then, what are you doing here?" I asked.

She shrugged, what a bitch she was.

"I was going to kill you, but it looks like your suffered enough" she smirked.

"Bella" Edward hissed.

I faced Victoria.

"I'm going to La push than" I announce.

"okay.." Victoria cocked her eyebrow.

I walked dazed around the forest, but in felt casual since I had just nearly been killed, what a shame.

I felt a rush of wind, Where Victoria was running. Probably making sure I got away. What a nice Bitch.

A couple hours later I was passed the La Push border, a wolf was waiting for me.

"Hey Jake" I slurred.

He gave me nudge, as we walked up to his house.

"Why did you phase" I asked.

He gave me stupid look.

"oh Victoria" I added dumbly.

Jacob knew where I had been , he could smell it all over me.

**I Hope you like this Chapter**

**Sorry I haven't Update, stuffs being going on..But it's good now.**

**Thanks for your review, I really want to reach 100 : )**


	16. Taken Back and the Usual Nightmare

Jacob phased back to his human form, violently grabbing my wrist.

I felt numb, but why so soon, I had only cut about 4 hours ago.

"Bella?" he sounded outraged, probably because I got away from Victoria in one piece.

I rolled my eyes at him.

I don't believe Victoria didn't kill me, she promised.

I tried to walk away but he just pulled me back.

"LET GO!" I screamed., hopping someone might her.

"Bella, you have to stay with the Cullen's" he ordered.

"No" I glared. I was 18, I could do what I wished.

"You are not safe Bells" he pleaded. How pathetic.

"I thought you didn't like them" I glared harshly, shaking off his grip.

"You aren't going anywhere" he hisses . I should have known.

"Wanna bet" I smirked.

There was no fucking way I was going to The Cullen's, they needed to move on just like I was about to do until they came back, It didn't matter either way, no one would love me or care for me. I was just a used bit of trash waiting to die.

It was all my fault Charlie had been murdered, it wasn't Victoria's. She had her own, well blood thirsty husband that she would have loved for eternity.

But HE had to come and Kill James to save me, why did he even bother since he was going to leave anyway.

I gasped, as Jacob lifted me up.

"I'm taken you to the Cullen's" he announced.

"NO JACOB NO!" I screamed. His hold on me was too strong.

"Bella stop struggling it's for your own good" he explained

I hung there limb in surrender.

Nothing mattered anymore all I needed was my razor and drugs.

Jacob kept running, but didn't phase. I was surprised at how fast he was. But it was nowhere near as fast as a vampire.

**Edward's Perspective.**

After Victoria had left, we were shocked. Bella had been ready to die, she didn't really care. Did she believe the lie I had told her when we all had left. My family didn't know the true about what happened when I went to say goodbye, I didn't want them to.

"I might go hunting" Jasper decided. He obviously couldn't take our emotions. We all guessed he didn't want anyone near him, he needed a break.

I nodded, as did the rest of my family.

"_I have no family"- Emmett, Rose, Esme, Carlisle. _

They were all thinking about what Bella had said. We really had hurt her, enough for her to say that we weren't her family.

"What now?" Emmett cut through my thoughts. To be honest, me personal had no Idea what to do. I was hoping that Jacob was taking care of her.

"Stupid Dog" Alice mutter, over the annoyance that she couldn't see Bella and what she would do next.

"_We could take her to a Hospital" – Carlisle._

I growled, all head snapped in my direction.

"It was just a suggestion son" Carlisle explained.

"sorry" I sighed. Bella didn't need a doctor she needed family, us.

"We'll just have to wait" Esme hugged me.

" _I'm sorry Edward, but we shouldn't have left.- Esme._

I nodded

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"CULLEN'S" it sounded like Jacob.

Bella.

"_I hope Bella's with him"- Carlisle._

I rushed over to the door, wrenching it opened.

"Hi." He said coldly.

Jacob held a sleeping Bella, curled into his chest.

"I thought I might bring Bella back, she needs help" he added sadly.

Esme jumped forward to hug Jacob. **(I no unexpected)**

He hesitated, but gave one back flatly.

"Jacob, we thank you so much" Carlisle smiled, worry appeared on his face.

Bella was here. Home.

"It's ok, just don't do what you did last time" He glared.

I felt guilt stab me in the heart. I would never leave her, look what I did to her.

"I would never" I said truthfully. I Only did it to protect her from my family and 'our kind'.

"Is she lettering you come to the funeral" Jacob asked.

"No" Emmett sighed sadly.

_I should have known- Jacob._

"I better go" he finished.

"_Take care of her, otherwise I'll rip you head off"- Jacob._

Jacob was really doing us a favour , I was surprised cause he really did hate our guts**(ha-ha),** More so for what we did to Bella.

Jacob handed Bella over to me.

"No." Bella gasped in her sleep.

"sshh Bella" I soothed. She looked beautiful, as always. But was way too skinny to be healthy.

"Thanks again" I said looking at Jacob.

He nodded disappearing into the forest.

"_You really owe him son"- Carlisle._

"I know" I whispered. I couldn't keep my eyes off Bella.

"You might want to take her inside" Alice suggested.

I nodded, as Emmett made way to get her inside. Not that much was needed.

I cradled her gently, sitting on the couch.

"She's so cute" Alice smiled.

Bella groaned, stirring in my lap. It reminded me of the nights I had spent at her house. But by the looks of Bella she hadn't gotten a good night sleep in a while.

"She has to eat though" Carlisle added.

Bella placed a hand unconsciously on mine, making a shock of electricity run through me.

"I might put her upstairs" I decided. I wondered how long I could watch her sleep, but I knew I had to leave when she woke up.

"I think you should put her in Esme and Carlisle room" Rose suggested.

I nodded, Bella wouldn't want to wake up seeing all my belongings, the things that she had seen before I left.

**Bella Perspective**

_Dream_

"_Bella, where leaving" he stated_

"_Well ,I have to think for something to say to Charlie" _

_But I misunderstood._

"_When you mean we?" _

"_I mean my family and myself" he interrupted._

I was pulled out of my nightmare, by the sound of screaming.

"Bella! Wake UP!" someone was shaking me.

I stopped screaming only to realise it was me.

"Bella!" they shouted.

My eyes shot open, distressed.

It was Emmett.

"are you alright?" he asked concerned. Wasn't it obvious, I was not fine.

I whimpered, rolling onto my stomach. It has been 2 days since I had, had that nightmare, that was a personal record.

"Bella?" Emmett tried to get my attention.

But I drifted into another nightmare.

**R&R PLEASE!**

**I like writing this story **


	17. Waking Up and being Stubborn

**Bella Perspective.**

"Bella, you have to get up, we need to talk"

Someone was shaking me awake, yet again. I didn't want to face the Cullen's not even Esme or Carlisle.

"If you don't get up, I'll make you" they warned.

"Whoever you are fuck off" I hissed.

I felt the bed sink, as someone sat on it,

It was Alice.

I shuffled as far away as possible, nearly falling off the bed.

Alice laughed. How was this moment funny?

Her arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me from the bed. I grabbed the blanket with me and laid myself on the ground. Just to prove my point.

Alice must of changed me, cause I only had a single and small pants on, they showed my cuts that were all over my body.

I wrapped myself in a small bundle, hiding my cuts. She should have known better.

I heard Alice leave. This as to be the last place I want to be right now.

Yet again by body was exhausted, sending me back to sleep.

**Alice's Perspective.**

Bella laid herself on the wooden floors after I picked her up. She was still as stubborn as ever.

I walked out of the room to my family.

"She doesn't want to get up" I whispered.

Before anyone answered, the smell of Bella's blood forced it's way to my nose.

"Bella?" Everyone panicked. We rushed to Bella, finding her in the same spot I had left her in.

"What?" I said confused.

"She's asleep" Edward confirmed.

We looked at her, trying to find out where she was bleeding. I think we all thought one of her cuts had randomly opened up, not that she had been cutting, I would have seen it.

"That's it" Jasper stated. He sent a rush of energy to Bella, making her jump.

"Wow, what?" she confused. Did she not know what was going on?.

"Bella your bleeding, get up" Edward demanded.

"No" she glared.

Emmet decided to pick Bella up.

"Let go, Bloodsucker" she snapped. I'm guessing she learnt the language off Jacob.

We all gasped.

"Bella, we do really need to talk" Carlisle pleaded.

Emmett let go of Bella, putting one of his hands on her shoulder, to restrain.

"I don't think we do" she shakes her head.

I felt really bad, Bella was a complete mess. Would she ever forgive us?

"Well that's too bad" I laughed humourlessly.

Before Bella could speak I flipped her over my back, running to the living room, The family followed.

It took a while for Bella's eyes to adjust, but when she did he hands violently went to her body to hide her cuts, I don't know why she bothered.

"Bella" Carlisle started.

She didn't answer, but stared at the table top.

"Bella, I'm sorry to say but we have to keep you here, it's for your own safety" he continued.

I was surprised at how calm everyone was acting, but by the looks of Jasper that weren't feeling it.

"Bella?" I asked.

No answer, why was she being so stubborn?.

"Please don't relapse" Carlisle pleaded. I forgot that she could go into catatonic state. It wasn't looking promising for Bella.

"I'm not, I'm just tired" she slurred. It was 5:00pm she had been sleeping forever, how could she still be tired.

"Well, you're not going back to sleep" I frowned sadly. Bella needed to eat.

"Are you hungry Bella" Esme asked sweetly. We all knew her answer, but we were hoping for a different one.

"No" Bella spoke softly, it kind of reminded me of how the old Bella would speak. I did miss the old Bella immensely, I could tell Jasper was beating himself up again, after what happened at her 18th.

I placed my small hand on his in comfort, not that it worked.

"We under- Bella cut him off.

"No you don't understand, stop saying you do" she hissed. She was right we didn't know a lot about what she was going through, but we knew a little.

**Bella's perspective**

They did not understand anything, they couldn't just leave and come back expecting everything to be ok again.

I tried comforting myself by putting by knees to my chest, it didn't work the slightest.

I wasn't hungry, as usual but I knew they wanted me to eat.

My phone started to ring, I looked at the caller ID- it was Jacob. I put it back in pocket, I was angry. He was the one who had brought me here.

"Aren't you going to get that" Edward asked curiously.

"No" I said simply.

"Did you want Edward or Alice to go collect your things from your house" Carlisle asked.

"I think I can manage on my own" I said stubbornly.

"Well at least let Alice come with you" he said.

"Fine" I sighed getting up.

**Alice's Perspective**

Bella was making it really hard. I guess we weren't her favourite people these day, but she could at least accept our help.

"Come on the Bella" I tried to smiled.

With that we hoped in Edwards Volvo.

**Edward's perspective**

"Bella really hates us doesn't she" Esme sobbed. I guess she did, but deep down the sweet girl was still there somewhere.

"No" Carlisle sighed.

"she's just has been affected a lot, with us leaving and Charlie dying, I guess she couldn't take it" Jasper added.

That had me thinking, Jasper would understand, he could feel what Bella was feeling.

"What was she feeling Jasper" I asked desperately.

"err ..No hope, fear, hatred, distrust and a bunch of other negative emotions" he frowned.

"What do we do in the mean time" Esme asked Carlisle.

"Well we have to get her to eat, Bella had as to open up to us"

We nodded.

"I will gladly force feed her" Emmett joked.

I growled.

"Edward if she doesn't eat, that's what we will be forced to do" Carlisle said concerned.

"I guess" I shrugged.

**Ok, well Bella is Being Bella. Stubborn :P**

**Please R&R.**

**New story is up- don't worry I will still Update this one regularly. **


	18. Packing and Not Eating

**Please Review !**

**Alice's Perspective**

Bella hesitated as she got into Edward's Volvo.

I mentally slapped myself for picking this car, but it was fast. I looked over at Bella who was blankly staring at the dashboard. After I got in a long uncomfortable silence settled in.

I sighed heavily, starting the car up.

"Bella put your seat belt on" I ordered gently.

She obeyed. "That was easy" I thought.

We were only passed the end of the driveway and the silence was killing me.

"Bella, please say something" I begged. I knew how upset and angry she was, but she shouldn't block us out.

"Hi" Bella said flatly. I was aiming for a bit more than that, but it would have to do .

I sighed again as well pulled into the small driveway, leading to Bella's house.

I saw the way Bella looked at the house, she missed Charlie.

"Oh Bella" I went to hug her, but she tensed.

"Sorry" I mumbled. Couldn't she at least give me one hug.

Bella hopped out of the car, I followed.

I really wanted to take Bella shopping just like old times, but I immediately decided angst it, cause it wouldn't cheer her up the slightest.

Bell tripped a couple of times, after we had gotten inside. I was about to laugh. She would always be the clumsy little human we loved.

I was hopping Bella wouldn't pack anything sharp, Bella looked to dead to do anything so I just sat on her bed, waiting for her to pack.

Bella got a small bag stuffing random clothes in it. I had to fight the urge to say anything, but if this was in a different situation, I would have already burnt her clothes and taken her shopping.

"excuse me" Bella mumbled quietly, walking passed.

She defiantly looked dead, I can't talk but she looked zombie like dead, literally.

Once Bella packed, we hopped back in the Volvo.

"You got everything" I asked, I sounded like a dam mother.

She didn't answer. I wasn't surprised.

We arrived back at the house, where everyone was waiting for us.

"Bella, I have dinner waiting for you" Esme smiled.

Surprisingly, Bella walked over and sat down, But I couldn't see her eating anytime soon.

The rest of us talked, too fast for Bella to hear.

"did she pack anything sharp" Carlisle asked.

Oh I forgot to check.

"err ..I dunno" I cringed.

"Alice!, your suppose to look, I don't want her hurting herself" Edward growled.

"I'm sorry" I frowned.

"I didn't think she would, look at her, she looks catatonic" I pointed out.

Everyone looked at Bella, who hadn't yet touch her food.

"Just give her time" Esme assures us.

We nodded.

"We can't take any chances Alice" Carlisle sighs.

"I'm go check her bag" Jasper said awkwardly.

Jasper went to Bella's bag.

I looked at Bella again, she was playing with her food, probably making it look like she as eaten.

"You're not fooling anyone, you have to eat" I smirked.

"You should talk" she hisses. Well I hadn't gone hunting for about 8 days.

'But, I can't die like you Bella" I rolled my eyes. I don't think she even cared.

**Bella perspective**

Alice's was watching me like a fucking hawk. The funny thing was that I didn't need to pack my razor, they had plenty of things I could use around the house. I didn't know what yet, so Alice couldn't see. I was feeling numb, to numb to eat, to numb to care.

I was bored, I flipped out my phone noticing I had a voice message.

"_I'm sorry Bells but I didn't know what to do with you, taking you to the Cullen's was my last option. You're not yourself. Oh and by the way I found your bottle of pills, when I came round to your house._

"_Any way's I'll see you later._

I suddenly thought about yesterday, how Carlisle and Jasper had taken me from my house. I had been feeling a bit twitchy, I needed my pills more than anything right now, but not as much as the feel of a blade across my wrist.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Cullen's stare at me.

I started to tremble, I dropping my fork on the ground . I bent down to pick it up, But someone had beaten me to it.

It was Edward. Uh oh.

"Here" he half smiled.

I stopped breathing, taking it from his hand.

"Are you ok?" he frowned.

"Yes, I'm good" I lied flatly.

"I don't believe that" he said looking at my meal.

It was none of his business, whether I was good or not.

"Well can you and go away" I sighed, frustrated.

I looked at him, seeing the hurt and regret in his eyes. Serves the guy right.

I continued to stir my food, waiting of a chance to chuck it out, but that wasn't happening anytime soon.

"BELLA!, don't you even think about it, EAT!"Alice yelled from another room.

"Stupid pixie" I thought , rolling my eyes.

I wanted to ask if I could use Edward's piano, Cause I had started to write "Charlie's song". As I would put it. But they had super fucking hearing.

God, I hope Alice didn't see what I was planning .

I sighed quietly, squinting at my fork. I knew Edward was staring at me.

"What are you thinking?" I had heard him say that so many times before he left, I was glad though he couldn't read my mind.

"You should know, you're the mind reader" I rolled my eyes, I wasn't in the mood for a conversation, I never was.

"You know I can't read your mind Bella" he chuckled.

"learn to than" I bit my fork, knowing there was no food on there.

"Just, eat Bella" he pinched the bridge of his nose.

I pushed the plate towards him.

"here" I said coldly, getting up.

"Bella, sit down" Edward ordered.

I stuck the finger up at him. He couldn't make me eat.

I realised, everyone else was gone. It was just me and Edward.

They were trying to get me and Edward together.

I mentally snorted at the Idea, we would never be together, not even after I'm dead.

"I'm going to have a shower" I announced.

**Well, that's another Chapter done.**

**PLEASE R&R**

**And Also I have posted a new story, Feel free to read. If you want to.**


	19. Watching, Waiting, and Cutting

**Alice's Perspective**

I was keeping constant watch on Bella's future, just in case she did something dangerous. But cause of Jacob's annoying decisions her future wasn't always there.

"Did you find anything in her bag" I whispered to Jasper.

"Well, no" he said surprised.

"Are you sure?" I raised my eyebrow.

He nodded.

I heard Bella turn the taps on in the shower, What was she up too?.

The rest of the family came in, except Edward. No one was sure what to do.

I felt Jasper try and calm everyone.

"I might go and get some clothes for Bella" I said awkwardly.

**Bella perspective**

I had never been so glad to be away from the Cullen's, even if it was only 200 metres . I really needed to cut, I was praying at there was something in Esme or Alice's bathroom's to use.

I had to be quick, I didn't really care what they thought. They weren't even suppose to be here, Edward had promised I wouldn't see him again. Ever.

I quickly raced through Esme's bathroom, there was nothing I could use. So I went to Alice's and BAM. There was nail files , nail scissors it was heaven for a person like me. But why would Alice have that sort of stuff. Well she had lots of stuff she never used anyway.

I smiled to myself.

**Alice's Perspective **

_Vision_

_Bella was sitting in my bathroom, looking around like she was trying to find something. _

_Then she picked up some nail scissors-_"

"BELLA!" I screamed.

I heard the taps in my bathroom turn on, my family had raced to where I was.

"What is it Alice" Jasper shook me gently.

Edward raced to the bathroom.

"BELLA, IF YOU DON'T GET OUT, I'M COMING IN!" he threatened

"Bella-cut-scissors" I choked out. How could I be so stupid, there was plenty of objects she could use to cut herself.

"Jasper, come on Bella might be bleeding" I cried. He wouldn't of been able to take it.

He cradled, walking down the stairs.

**Bella perspective**

I turned on the tap.

"BELLA!" Alice screamed.

What the, I hadn't even decided anything yet? Or had I.

I picked up the nail scissors and started to cut, cut and cut again. It was a bloody mess, but if felt so good.

The blood started to oozed onto the floor.

"BELLA, IF YOU DON"T GET OUT, I'M COMING IN!" Edward threatened me

Shit!, he wouldn't. He couldn't, than again he might.

I finished up cutting myself a few more times than cleaned the blood off the floor.

"BELLA!" Carlisle shouted, I never heard him yell before. How strange. I quickly disposed of the nail file, washing it off.

BANG!, the door was off its hinges. FUCK THEY REALLY WERE COMING IN!

I ran into the shower, I didn't know how that was going to help me.

There was another bang, I heard footsteps.

I screamed loudly, struggling against a pair of hands lifting me out of the shower.

I closed my eyes, as they wrapped a towel round me shoulders. Great now they had all seen my naked glory.

"Bella, what were you thinking" It sounded like Edward.

My eyes were tight shut.

"Open your eyes" he demanded.

I was glad that the person who grabbed me out of the shower was not Edward.

I blushed deep.

I heard a laugh.

"So, she blushing cause she naked, not cause she has cut"

"This isn't a laughing matter" Carlisle said frustrated.

"Rose, get Bella some clothes" Edward sighed.

"Bella why?" Esme whispered in my ear, so she was one who was holding me.

"Esme, bring her to my office" Carlisle ordered.

I was picked up, Esme made sure the towel did not slip

"ESME PLEASE PUT ME DOES NOT CONCERN YOU!" I squirmed.

"oh, I think it does" she frowned. This wasn't like Esme.

I was placed on a chair, hands disappeared.

God, How I wish I was dead right now. They couldn't do anything could they?

"Bella, you can't cut" Carlisle started. who does he think he is, my father.

"This isn't a chose you, just can't" he continued.

"Can I go now?" I said breathlessly. I was naked, for fuck sake.

"No Bella" he sounded disgusted.

I felt hands go to my shoulders, I attempted to push them off.

"Bella, please look at us" Esme pleaded.

I sighed, opening my eyes.

My eyes blured, probably from loss of blood. I didn't know.

Esme concerned face came into view.

"Why Bella?" she repeated.

I turned so I wasn't looking at her.

She sighed heavily, turning to Carlisle.

"I might take her to bed" she announced.

Esme lifted me up again.

"Can I walk, please" I sighed, frustrated.

She nodded, gently putting me down. I had upset the whole family, but why would they go through the trouble of getting me out of the shower, they didn't love me

We arrived at Edward's room, I didn't care who's it was. Esme gave me the clothes and turned around.

Serious why would rose give me bright pink pj's, I mentally gagged

I slowly slide myself in the bed, preparing for more nightmares.

"Oh joy" I muttered, so Esme wouldn't of heard.

She turned around frowning.

"Good night Bella" she almost sobbed.

**Carlisle Perspective**

What was Bella thinking, cutting herself in a house full of Vampire's, especially with Jasper here.

Edward was distressed, we all were.

"Carlisle, what is wrong with Bella" he demanded hissing.

"Edward, I don't know. I just don't" I frowned.

"But you're a doctor, haven't you been with people like Bella" he stared at me.

"Not like this Son, Bella is well... I don't know" I should have known, Edward needed Bella.

I want the old Bella back , Please Carlisle" he pleaded.

We all did, Why did we leave?.

"Yes I know" I placed a hand on his shoulder.

**Bella perspective**

I quickly fell asleep, Esme was still in the room.

**Ok Chapter 20! Please Review.**

**I'm On Term Holiday : ) **

**Updating soon.**

**Updating Bad memories soon... I just wanted to a chapter for this LOL**


	20. Not Enough Sleep and Exhaustion

**Esme Perspective**

Bella must of been tired, cause she fell asleep moments after she had changed.

"Bella." I sighed sadly.

My poor girl, practically my daughter . We had left her, Bella didn't care about anything anymore, not even herself. No wonder she hated us. Bella didn't even want us at her father's funeral, that was saying something since most of Forks had been invited to farewell him.

A sob escaped my lips, as I sat on Edwards sofa.

I remember the first time I saw Bella, she was perfect. Her presents filled the gap in the family everyone loved her, well Rose didn't , only because she was jealous. I never thought something like this would happen, I never thought we would have to leave Forks, at least not for awhile.

Edward still loved her more than ever, but it pained him to see what he had done to her.

I got up to look at Bella, she stirred.

I heard Edward pleading with Carlisle to tell him what was wrong with her, he didn't seem to know.

But something wasn't right, her hand started to twitch.

Alice came in.

"Do not wake her" she whispered.

Suddenly Bella rolled over and cried out.

I gasped, as Carlisle and Edward filed in.

"NO!" Bella screamed, she would not lay still. Her hair covered her pale face, like a sheet.

"she has to get out of this herself, I've seen if we do, we will make it worse" Alice said through her teeth.

"NO EDWARD, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE" tears shed, running down her cheeks. It took all of my strength to not comfort her.

"her inner self, doesn't want you to leave" Carlisle sighed.

"I'm sorry Charlie, it's my fault" she sobbed loudly. So Bella thought it was her fault that Charlie died, it certainly wasn't. If anybody it was us.

I exchanged concerned glances toward my family.

"Why can't we wake her up" I asked Alice.

"I have seen that she will relapse "Alice cried.

Bella was finally still.

We sighed in relief, but it was too soon.

Bella let out a blood curling scream, I cringed.

Emmett, Jasper and Rose filed in.

"What going on?" they all said.

But they soon realised Bella was having an eructating nightmare.

"NO!" she screamed again.

Sweat was covering her forehead, rapidly. Bella became breathless.

"What can we do?" Edward asked Carlisle desperately. I couldn't stand watching Bella anymore, but I didn't want to leave.

Before Carlisle answered, Bella began to whimper.

"She will wake in 5 minutes" Alice predicted.

"Will she be ok" I asked.

" I don't really know?" Alice shook her head.

**5 minutes later ( ha-ha )**

Bella's eyes fluttered.

"Bella, open your eyes" Carlisle ordered gently.

She stirred to face us, than opened her big brown eyes.

"Yes?" she breathed. I couldn't take it, so I wrapped my hands around Bella, she tensed away. I wasn't surprised

Bella waited.

"It is not your fault Charlie was killed" Carlisle started.

Bella didn't answer, but looked at the bed sheets. I felt Jasper send positive emotions, towards Bella. I don't think she cared.

Bella sighed heavily.

"I might go and get some water" she said getting up.

" I'll get it dear" I offered.

She gave me a wary look.

"No, it's ok I need to stretch my legs" she half smiled.

No of us argued, but made way for Bella.

"Someone follow her" I whispered.

**Bella Perspective**

I made my way down the stairs, as silently as I could. When was I going to have a decent nights rest.? I would ask Carlisle for some sleep medication, but he probably thought I would kill myself. I think he might guess correctly.

Now that I think about it, I'm surprise I didn't trip down the stairs.

"water" I muttered, getting a cup out.

I knew the Cullen's must of been listening, or at least Alice looking at my future.

I mentally snorted.

The nightmare was replaying in my head, I started to tremble.

"BELLA!" someone shouted.

I gasped as the glass slipped out of my hand.

I heard footsteps, as I bent down to pick it up. But it wasn't there.

"Bella, I got it" I was wrapped around the waist by Emmett's cool arm's.

**Emmett's Perspective**

I wrapped my arms our Bella's waist, I think she was a bit shocked by her nightmare, either that or she was trying to smash a glass to cut herself. But Bella isn't that stupid, is she?

"Bella, what are you doing?" I whispered. She looked so pale, to think we had caused to much pain, especially Edward.

"Getting a drink" she said simply.

"Do you want some breakfast" I asked.

"Err..Emmett do you know what time it is?" she raised her eyebrow. I looked at the clock, was it only 12:00am?

"I just thought since you didn't eat dinner" I tried to smile.

"No Emmett" she pushed my arms away. God, it looked like she hadn't slept in eternity.

The family came to join us.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked harshly, he was probably referring to my hands around Bella's waist, He didn't own Bella.

Bella slumped against me, exhausted.

"Bella!" Edward lunged towards her.

**Edward's Perspective**

Bella looked so pale, when she slumped towards Emmett, she looked dead. I envied Emmett for touching her.

Jasper shot me a look.

Emmett gave Bella to Rose, who then cradled her like a small child.

"sshh Bella" Esme touched her hair.

I wish I had never left Bella, I should be dead for what I have put her though.

The girls took Bella upstairs.

"_Son remember, Bella isn't "yours" "- Carlisle._

Well I already knew that, I just didn't want to believe it.

"_Someone's Jealous"- Jasper._

I growled.

**Sorry this Chapter might seem a bit draggy, tell me what you think. Should I continue?**

**Updating soon!**


	21. Still not Eating and Esme's Concern

**Esme Perspective**

We were half way up the stairs and Bella started to stir, uncomfortably.

"Ssh Bella" Alice touched her face.

Bella groaned and put her hand to Rose's neck.

Rose smiled, probably thinking about how child-like Bella looked in her arms.

She placed Bella gently back into Edward's bed. Saying she was tired was an understatement, Bella was exhausted.

Bella groaned, rolling over onto her stomach.

"I think I might go hunting with Emmett." Rose left the room.

I sighed, kissing Bella lightly on cheek.

"Did you see Bella having anymore nightmares tonight?" I asked Alice.

Her eyes glazed over as she looked into Bella's future.

"No." she sighed in relief.

I smiled; at least she would be getting a little sleep.

"Look at her, she's exhausted." Alice frowned.

I nodded.

Carlisle came in, wrapping his arm around my waist. I knew he had a lot on his mind just like the rest of us, but our greatest concern was Bella. We needed the old Bella back.

I sat on Edward's sofa with Carlisle while Alice sat at front of the bed.

Bella stirred again and we heard several bones crack, I shuddered.

"Carlisle, how will we get Bella to eat?" I asked him.

"I was thinking, what Emmett said. Force feeding." he sighed, concerned

I was appalled, but in a way it would save Bella's life.

"I'm not sure if that's such a good idea." I half smiled. We were all running out of idea's with Bella, she was troubled.

"I know, but she can't afford to lose any more weight." He explained.

I nodded, not knowing how Bella would feel if we did it.

Carlisle turned to Alice, who was trying to find away to hug Bella, without waking her up.

I almost cried, I knew how much Alice missed Bella, they were, after all, best friends.

"Alice." Carlisle addressed her.

Alice stopped touching Bella.

"Yes." she sobbed.

"Oh, Alice." I rushed over to hug her.

"Alice, do you see what will happen if we force feed Bella?" Carlisle gave her a concerned look. Alice was having trouble seeing Bella's future, on a count of that she was slowly killing herself.

"ummmm." her eyes glazed over once again. Carlisle and I waited patiently.

"No I-I d-don't see anything." Alice sighed sadly.

"We'll just have to wait." with that Carlisle left to go to his office.

**Bella Perspective**

I didn't want to get up, cause if I did than I would have to face the Cullen's and Carlisle's stupid doctor advice. I didn't need anyone's help; I could take care of myself.

I rolled over onto my back, aware that I might not be the only one in Edward's room.

"Morning." Esme said. Can't argue with that.

"Morning, Esme." I sighed, I was still exhausted.

I rolled over again, seeing Alice's face.

"Jeez, Alice" I jumped, startled.

"Sorry" she smiled. I had to admit Alice was pretty cute, when she smiled.

I shrugged; This was going to be a long, depressing day.

I look at myself under the covers; I still had the short sleeved shirt and shorts on.

I closed my eyes, frustrated. Well I couldn't hide it without getting out of bed. Today was going to be the most awkward-est day in my life. What was I going to do?

I shifted out of bed, getting out clumsily. I knew they had their eyes on me, how annoying.

"I might go for a walk." I started to walk out of the room.

"Bella?" Esme called.

"Yes." I sighed, backtracking.

"Could I join you?" she asked, smiling.

_Say no, Say no,_ I thought.

"Err, if you want to." I half smiled. I really didn't want to get caught in a conversation that made me want to cut again.

She smiled and came to my side.

"Just let me get dressed, is that ok?" I whispered, blushing. Why was I blushing?

"Sure" she beamed. What was she so happy about?

I turned around to walk to the bathroom. But I realised I had a slight problem, where did they put my stuff?

I started to walk back to Edward's room, Carlisle walked past.

"Morning, Bella" he smiled.

"Morning" I muttered, looking down.

Before I knew it Alice passed me my bag.

**Alice Perspective**

I don't think Bella really wanted to go for a walk with Esme, but I didn't want to tell her that. I looked around spotting Bella's bag.

She came back in, so I passed it to her quickly. She seemed surprised. I saw that she wouldn't do anything dangerous, so I let her go.

**Bella Perspective**

I hoped that they forgot about human needs, well the eating part anyway. I didn't want to be forced to eat. I regretted saying yes to Esme about that walk, but at the same time if I hadn't they wouldn't have let me go by myself.

I quickly got dressed, eager to get away from the Cullen's stupid house.

"Coming, Bella?" Esme called. I wished I wasn't.

"Yes." I mumbled quietly.

I walked down the stairs; the first thing I saw was a massive breakfast.

"Shit." I muttered.

Esme pushed me towards the table; I had to make an excuse and quick.

"Can we just go for a walk first?" I pleaded; I really was just putting off eating.

Esme looked at Carlisle.

"Ok, Bella." Esme said unsure.

Esme gave me a jacket, which I reluctantly wore considering it was Edward's. How thick could people get?

I looked to the ground, as we started to walk.

**THANKYOU TOO-FishluvsJasperCullen for doing the Beta for this Chapter XD**

**-Updating soon : )**


	22. Walking and Compromise

**Bella 's Perspective**

I knew Esme wanted to talk to me, but she probably thought I didn't. She was right. I just wanted to get as far away from them and their house as possible, but the only way I could have this freedom was if Esme came with me. They were guessing that I would do a runner, but they should know that I didn't stand a chance between Alice and her visions, unless I was with Jacob.

I didn't know where we were going, but Esme obviously did. I did want to talk to her about using the piano, so I could figure something out for Charlie's funeral. But something inside was telling me to keep my mouth shut.

We passed a long log; I decided to balance upon it. Just for fun, but it wasn't in the slightest. I think Esme was surprised that I didn't fall on my face. Just because they're typical graceful vampires.

I let out a quiet sigh.

An hour had passed, I didn't want to go back and face the rest of the Cullen's . But I had started to get tired. I tried to keep pace with Esme so she wouldn't notice. She probably thought we should be back by now.

"Bella, I think we should be heading back" Esme suggested gently. Did I have a choice?

I nodded, not making any attempt to talk, I had to go back sometime.

I mentally screamed.

We started to head back, walking with a big gap between us.

**Esme's Perspective**

I knew Bella didn't want to go back, she didn't want to eat or go back to the house. The poor girl, I don't believe Carlisle insisted on force feeding if she didn't improve soon, it would help her but she wouldn't like it or trust us, not that she did anyway.

It was quiet a slow walk back, not cause I was vampire. It was because Bella was exhausted.

We opened t he door of the house, to be greeted by my family. Bella tried to squeeze passed us.

"Where do you think you're going?" Alice wrapped her arms around Bella's waist.

"To read." Bella whimpered.

Alice looked at her and frowned.

"We're going to have some breakfast." Alice announced.

Bella looked confused.

"we're?" she raised her eyebrow.

I hoped she was joking, I didn't really favour human food, But if it was to help Bella I was all for it.

Emmett picked up Bella, who jumped from his skin. That's strange, because she never used to do that.

Carlisle and I glanced at each other.

"Fuck you Emmett, put me down." She said through her teeth. Bella didn't have the best language these days.

"Gladly." Emmet sat her in front of the food.

Carlisle placed his hand on Bella shoulder.

"Bella, if you eat a bit you can go, if not we all will stay here until you do" He explained gently. I hoped this worked.

**Bella perspective**

I whimpered, looking at the food. If I didn't eat I would be staying here forever.

The Cullen's positioned themselves around the table waiting.

I just stared at it disgusted, How I wish Victoria had killed me. I knew all eyes were on either the so called 'food' or me.

I turned away looking out the window, but accidentally caught eyes with Jasper.

"Eat" he ordered. I guessed my emotions were getting to him.

I looked back down.

I pushed the food away, I heard several people growl.

"Ok, I will compromise." I looked at Carlisle.

"Yes Bella?" he said curiously.

"If I eat this, can I go home?" I said. I wasn't meaning to be a smart ass. But if I went home I wouldn't be told to eat.

Carlisle locked eyes Alice, who shook her head. Some friend.

"No Bella" he stated.

I sighed heavily, trying to day dream. My thoughts went to Charlie, I did miss cooking for him.

I closed my eyes , ready to drift asleep.

"BELLA, STAY AWAKE" Rose snapped. Since when did she start pretending to care.

I jumped at her voice.

I started lifting the fork from the table, but thought better of it as sat it back where it was.

**Carlisle's Perspective**

Bella lifted her fork, trembling slightly. I looked up at my family they looked hopeful. But it was to soon, she placed it back where it was.

I heard Esme sigh beside me.

If this didn't work I thought of putting a drip in her or force feeding which I was not fond of, I had seen the nurse at the hospital try it with some patients. But if I put I drip in her, it couldn't last forever.

I thought of Jasper sending waves of hunger to Bella, but that would probably cause us to attack Bella.

"While we're here, Bella?" I said sternly. I wondered if I would get a decent answer out of her.

"mmm." she said not really paying attention.

I glanced at Edward.

"What were you up to while we were away?" Edward decided to take over, not that it was a good idea.

Bella froze and looked up to Edward, glaring.

"Nothing" she sighed. There were a lot of things she hadn't told us, I could tell.

"So, you've been staring at a brick wall?" Emmett raised one of his eyebrows.

Bella shrugged.

"What have you guys been up to, beside's sucking animal blood?" Bella bit her lip, frowning. We weren't really expecting that.

"Bella don't try and change the subject. Eat." Alice glared. She obviously could see what Bella was going to do.

"Bella, if you don't eat we will force feed you." Emmett pushed the food closer to her.

"Emmett that was just an idea." I hissed so Bella couldn't hear.

"You can't force feed me." Bella glared at him.

Emmett looked taken back.

"Wanna bet?" Emmett ripped away his chair, but was slammed back down by Edward.

**Bella's Perspective**

How could they threaten me with force feeding, I'm not a baby. If the Cullen's were human, I would be out here so fast.

I saw Alice smile; she probably was probably finding it amusing that I couldn't escape eating with her around.

I heard my phone ring up-stairs. So I did bring it?

I got up from the table, trying to sprint my way upstairs.

**Sorry haven't updated in a while (I think).**


	23. Jacob's Call and Force Feeding

**Carlisle's Perspective**

"It's Jacob, let her get it." Alice hissed.

Edward sighed, sitting back in his chair. I wondered if Bella would change her mind and let us come to the funeral.

"She won't." Edward interrupted my thoughts. He always thought so negatively. I looked up at my family, they were sad to see Bella how she was.

"Listen." Rose hushed us.

"But I thought I was organizing the funeral?" Bella said to Jacob.

"_Bella, you're not well." _

"Yes, I am, I'm fine." she protested.

"Liar." Jasper and Emmett said together.

"_Bella have you looked at yourself?" _

We heard footsteps, presuming she was walking to look at her reflection.

"I just did." Bella sighed.

"_What do you see?" _

"He sounds like a therapist." Alice muttered.

"Er, me." she hesitated.

"_Don't worry Bella." he sighed._

"Ok, I won't." Bella spat.

"_Are you still singing for Charlie?"_

There were several gasps.

"Bella didn't say anything about singing." Esme frowned.

"When does she say anything about anything?" Emmett rolled his eyes. He did have a point, Bella didn't let anyone in.

"Umm probably not, 'cause I can never be alone, without them thinking I'm suicidal." she whispered. I guess she had forgotten we could hear her.

"I wonder why we think she's suicidal." Edward muttered.

"You are too Edward." Alice tapped him.

"_I thought- well if you change your mind just call me back."_

"Will do."

"_Bye Bella."_

"Bye Jake."

I heard Bella sit down on the bed.

"I think I might cook her something else." Esme whispered. She really wanted Bella to eat.

"Force feed." Alice mumbled.

**Bella perspective**

Did Jake really think he could organize the funeral without me? How could he do that?.

"Bella?" someone called.

I guess I have nothing better to do.

"I'm coming." my voice cracked.

I forced myself off Edward's bed, stuffing my phone in my pocket.

"Stupid Cullens." I muttered.

Now I had to go and sit there, as they threaten to force feed me.

I walked down the starts slowly, buying myself some thinking time, but it just wasn't enough. I made my way to the table, not making any eye contact with anyone.

"Who was that?" Alice asked.

"No one important." I snapped.

I looked up at the food, it was gone. I tried not to smile, put it happened to breakout across my face.

"Bella, don't think you not eating cause Esme is cooking." Edward said sternly.

I sighed heavily, it was too good to be true. I was right, because things just got worse when Esme came in.

She sat what looked to be like 2 minutes noodles, it reminded me of when Charlie tried to cook. I didn't want to think about Charlie, cause then I would think about Victoria then back to my past.

I sat dazed, staring at the food. I couldn't care less if I didn't eat or not, the Cullen's hadn't eaten themselves forever.

"Why don't you guys eat?" I leaned back into my chair.

"It's not the same, you know that." Edward sighed. He didn't know that for sure.

"Yes it is." I argued.

"Bella, shut up and eat" Rose snapped.

I never really got why rose hated me, well at least she didn't pretend to love me like the others did.

I glared at her, forcing every inch of emotion into her eyes.

"Guys, stop." Esme said sternly.

Alice was now behind me.

"Alice, what are you doing?" I said frantic.

"Saving you from yourself." with that she pinned me down on my chair.

"Don't." I hissed.

"I'm sorr-" I cut Carlisle off.

"No you're not!" I screamed.

**Alice's perspective**

We needed to do it, before it got too hard.

"Help?" I asked someone from the table, whilst holding a nearly distressed Bella down. I knew she wouldn't like me, once it was over, but Bella needed help. She needed our help.

Edward got up, I could see the pain in his eyes. He wanted her to eat more than anyone of us. Everyone else watched as Bella tried to free herself.

"Bella, I'm sorry but I'm doing this because I love you" he whispered.

"I doubt it." Bella squeaked.

Edward picked up the fork, twirling it around the noodles. Bella kept her mouth shut as she watched him.

"Bella, open your mouth" he ordered softly.

Bella bit down on her lip hard, turning away from the bowl of noodles.

"Need any more help?" Emmett asked gently.

"Yes." I said simply.

He got up, taking my place so I could help Edward.

"I think we should stop" Esme eyes were wide.

"We can't." Edward cried.

I repeated what Edward did, offering it to Bella. Who yet again would not take it.

"That's it, Bella" I said smoothly.

I let go of the fork and started to tickle her. She let out muffled squeals, trying to keep her mouth shut.

Bella finally opened her mouth to breath.

"NOW" Emmett shouted.

Edward stuffed I big amount of food into Bella's mouth.

She screamed in protest, as I placed my hand over her mouth to stop her from spitting it out.

"Come on Bella, swallow" Emmett encourage.

After 7 long seconds something unexpected happened, Bella swallowed in defeat. She knew there was no way she could win.

I slowly lifted my hand from Bella's mouth. She looked shocked that we actually would do that.

"Sorry." I whispered, kissing her cheek.

Bella was panting and her heart rate was fast.

"Bella, please calm down, we won't have to do it again as long as you eat." Edward promised.

She looked up at Edward and me, with as much hate as possible. I knew she didn't really appreciate what we did, but she would later on.

"I think that would be enough for now." Carlisle decided.


	24. Emmett makes Bella a Deal

**Alice's Perspective**

Bella's heart rate was decreasing but only just.

"Bella, are you alright?" Esme asked, frantic. Bella looked up at her and nodded.

"Are you going eat anymore?" Edward asked. How could he be anymore stupid? We just forced food into her.

Bella turned from her food to glare at him.

"Go fuck yourself." She grabbed a hand full of the food, throwing it across at him. I didn't even see that coming.

"Bella." I sighed, frustrated. She was making it difficult, couldn't she just eat one meal?

"Don't ever do that again." She hissed.

"Bella?" Emmett caught her attention.

"Yup?" Bella replied flatly.

"Can, I talk to you?" he asked.

She shrugged, getting up.

**Emmett Perspective **

Bella needed to see what she was doing to herself; I missed the innocent and clumsy human. I knew I should of smashed Edward the day he demanded that we leave.

Bella followed me out slowly, obviously expecting a lecture.

She didn't trust us. I didn't blame her.

We got to the back garden and sat on the top step.

"I'm going to make you a deal." I started.

"What do you have that I want?" Bella rolled her eyes.

I guess she didn't know that we were eavesdropping on her phone call.

"I know you want to use the piano" I half smiled.

Bella blushed. Why was she embarrassed?

"No I don't." She lied.

"Don't play dumb Bella, we heard your phone call, you need it for Charlie's funeral." I stated.

"And?" she demanded.

"Well, I figure I could take the family on a hunting trip all of us, you can have the house to yourself." I smiled, hopefully.

"Since when so you guys go family hunting?" She raised an eyebrow. I wasn't sure if my family would agree to this, but I had to help her. But I was doing it my way.

"We always do." I lied.

"Oh ok." She seemed surprised, I probably shouldn't have lied.

"But, You have to eat one whole meal in front of us." I looked at her, waiting for a reaction.

"So, you take your family away for a bit, I get the house to myself and you're making me eat a whole meal!" she said outraged.

"No you're going to eat it yourself, and then we have a deal." I smiled. This was going quite well.

1 minute passed, where we didn't speak.

I heard her sigh heavily.

"Ok, but you promise?" She questioned.

I nodded, smiling.

"Ok then." I held out my hand, hoping she would shake it.

Bella just looked at it.

"Shall I go cook something then?" I hopped up.

She glared, nodding.

"Well, this is just great." I heard her mumble sarcastically as I walked away.

**Bella perspective**

I did not have an appetite, I never had a appetite. But what Emmett was offered was probably my only chance to have some alone time and fix Charlie a song for his funeral.

I thought I would suck it up and puke it out later. Emmett didn't realize the glitch in his deal.

I followed Emmett back into the living room, where the Cullen's looked curious even confused. Well at least they weren't eavesdropping.

I took my seat, making no eye contact like before.

Emmett walked passed to the kitchen.

Nearly, 10 minutes had passed. I hoped he wasn't cooking dinner for 2 because I wouldn't eat it. I couldn't even remember the last time I had had a full meal. I was so use to being so empty.

Emmet came in smiling; he was being such an asshole for doing this. I could have compromised something else, but it was too late.

"Here Bella" he shoved, what looked to be like chicken, garlic bread and some creamy pasta.

I breathed out to stop myself from gagging again.

"Bella?" Emmett nodded at the food.

I shook, picking up my knife and fork; I would never be able to finish this.

I looked up at Emmett again, smiling encouragingly.

I sighed, biting on a piece of garlic bread.

It was silent as I kept nibbling on my food. I guess they were silent because they were either shocked or wanted me to concentrate.

But I swear I heard someone hiss 'yes'.

I suddenly started to feel sick in my stomach; I could tell this wasn't going to end well.

I sighed again started on the pasta, it didn't taste that bad. It had taken me about 15 minutes to eat some garlic bread.

God, my plate looked more appetizing.

I rolled my eyes, shoving more pasta into my mouth.

Mystomach made a weird sound, but it wasn't out of hunger. I felt full, or was I?

"What was that?" Rose asked.

I looked up from plate, shrugging.

I let my mind wander, as I tried to finish eating. I was looking forward to some alone time.

One hour later, I sat my fork down, just resisting the urge not to vomit.

I put my elbows on the table, running my fingers through my hair. It was over, but why did it take so long?

"Good job Bella" I could hear the joy in his voice.

I mentally shuddered.

"Emmett" I addressed him sternly.

"I know" he smiled.

I still didn't feel so good. I hoped it was worth it.

Edward shot Emmett a look, I don't think he liked the idea of leaving me home alone.


	25. My Bella's Nightmares and Deal

**Edward's Perspective**

"_Hope everyone agrees to leave Bella home alone, while we go hunting."- Emmett_

There was no way we were all going hunting, living Bella by herself. We couldn't watch her or know what she was doing. Bella was in no state to be alone.

Bella was looking at Emmett.

"Carlisle, I sort of made Bella a deal" Emmett started.

"What would that be?" Carlisle said curiously.

"Well Bella did eat someone thing and promise she could stay home by herself and-I cut him off.

"No" I growled.

I looked at Bella she was now staring out a window, oblivious to our conversation or was she?

"_It would be a wise idea for her to earn some trust and I think she needed to use the piano"- Carlisle_

I gave Carlisle a stern look, who returned it.

"_Edward this isn't up to you"- Carlisle._

"Can you stop having silent conversation, it's so annoying" Bella rolled her eyes. I guess she was paying more attention now.

I heard Alice chuckle quietly.

"Bella, if we leave you at home, can we trust you do be safe" Carlisle asked.

"Yes" Bella said quickly.

"_I can't tell if she is lying"- Jasper_

"No Bella" I said sternly.

"But I need to" she trailed off.

I knew what she needed, I just wanted to hear her say it.

"Need what?" I asked curiously.

"T-t-to u-use your p-piano" She stuttered, looking down.

"_That's why I made the deal"- Emmett_

I sighed heavily and nodded.

She smiled back at me, my dead heart leaped.

"Ok Bella, but you have to be safe" Carlisle ordered.

Bella nodded.

"When are we Leaving?" Esme asked.

"Probably later tonight" Carlisle suggested.

We all nodded.

"Bella?" Alice asked.

"Yes" Bella whispered.

"How come you won't play us something?" she asked.

Bella blushed. How I missed that.

"You mean piano?" she said flatly

"Yes" Alice replied.

Bella shrugged.

**Bella perspective**

I was so excited that I would be on my own. They were leaving tonight.

I let another smile slip. I would probably have to be a bit nicer, so they won't change their mind.

"Would you allow me to check over you than, before we go?" Carlisle asked. What did he take me for?

"What. No" I shuddered.

"Bella" Edward warned.

"I said no" I took my first really good look into his eyes.

"I'll be watching you" Alice tapped her skull. Well at least they wouldn't be here while I was playing piano.

I shrugged, rolling my eyes.

"Thank you for Eating" Esme said sweetly.

I half smiled at her, she already looked so pained.

"I'm really tired, so might go upstairs" I stood up.

They nodded.

**Edward perspective**

Bella slowly got up to go upstairs.

"_Poor girl, she's exhausted"- Esme._

I wanted to watch her sleep, just for awhile.

"Edward" Alice warned. Did she always have see what I was going to do?

We all heard Bella settle herself down into my Bed, I missed watching her sleep and night, the way she would smile if I touched her. I wonder if it still worked now?

"Just leave her" Emmett hissed.

"No" I hissed back.

"I know how you feel about leaving Bella by herself, we feel similar but she said she wouldn't do anything" Carlisle stated

"And you believe her?" I raised my eyebrow.

_Yes- Carlisle._

I sighed heavily, making my way upstairs to Bella.

"_If she wakes up" Alice trailed off._

I waved her off.

I knew Bella was already asleep, Her heart rate was calm.

I creped soundlessly into my room, seeing Bella asleep on top of the blankets. Wasn't she cold?, seriously what had a done to Bella. She was less than half her size now. Maybe we needed to treat Bella like Emmett did.

I was long before she started to whimper, crying out.

"ssshh Bella" I soothed. I didn't want to touch her just yet, in fear of waking her up. I had a pretty good Idea of what her dreams were about, I was aching to read her mind. How could be help this girl, I had selfishly left be hide.

"No" Bella gasped, her knuckles were turning white as she gripped onto the quilt. Her pain was my pain.

I went to go touch her forearm, she flinch but quickly relaxed in my hold. But it wasn't enough, I wanted to wrap my whole arms around her. I didn't want to fail her again.

Bella started stir violently. I took my chances wrapping both my arms around her waist, protectively. How did I ever let go of something so precious, that was easy. I didn't and I won't.

I heard my family walking upstairs', Carlisle first.

Bella get out quiet screams, I placed my head on stomach. She was so soft.

"Edward what"- Carlisle started. But looked at us for a second, I didn't turn around to face him. I wanted to enjoy this time before she woke up.


	26. New Author

Hi I'm Jacksperluvr! I will do my best with this story. I would like a beta so if you want to be or know someone let me know. I am not sure how to continue this story so If you have ideas either pm me or review. Thank you. I hope I don't disappoint you.

PS All of you readers who were reading Bad Memories by MistyTearzz it is being continued by twilight mittens.


	27. alone, or so i thought

Hey I finally got a chapter written. I don't know how good it is. It is probably pretty bad but here it is.

Disclaimer:Don't own twilight or the characters or the song.

Bella pov

I was having my usual nightmare which meant I was probably screaming. Sigh. I was just getting to the worst part which meant I would wake up soon.

And right on cue I woke up and tried to sit up but couldn't. I then realized someone was hugging or holding me.

"EDWARD!" I screamed. I was so mad! Why couldn't he just leave me the fuck alone! So I did the first thing I thought of...

I slapped him in the face as hard as I could. He looked startled and took a step back. Ha I thought I made him take a step back and I took a great amount of satisfaction in that. I started to get up to go get a shower and of course I was hit with head rush and almost fell. Of course I didn't fall because Edward fucking caught me. I growled at him and he let go of me like I had shocked him. Good he deserves it.

"I'm so-" He started but I cut him off with a glare and growled " Don't! Just leave me the fuck ALONE!" I proceeded to head to the bathroom for my shower. I got a shower long enough to hopefully make sure he wasn't there when I came out. When I walked out of the bathroom I was happy that Edward wasn't there.

I slowly got dressed and brushed my hair and started heading downstairs. When I made it downstairs I looked around and was pleased to see what I saw. Edward looked hurt and regretful, Alice and Rose were smirking, while Jasper and Carlisle looked surprised and Emmett looked happy. I went and sat down in the living room and watched TV. Alice flitted over and sat next to me. I moved as far away from her as I could on the couch.

" Are you hungry?" she asked hopefully. I was about to tell her to fuck off when Emmett's eye caught mine and I remembered the deal we made. I was afraid he would go back on his word if I didn't.

Sigh. " Ugh FINE!" I answered. Alice and Emmett smiled in response while everyone else looked shocked. Alice left to go cook me something and of course that's when Esme appeared probably from gardening or something to keep up the facade and offered to help her. Edward sat down on the couch next to me so I got up and sat next to Emmett on the love-seat.

We just sat there watching TV with Edward looking rejected and dejected at my actions and I smirked at that. He so deserved it. Just then Alice flitted into the room.

" Your meal is ready." She announced with a smile.

Sigh. " OK" I said and went to the dining room to eat and I knew everyone was following waiting to see what was going to happen. I sat down with a sigh and started to eat the steak, noodles, corn, and baked potato. Geez are they trying to make me explode. After I was finally done which took forever I looked around and saw that everyone except Carlisle, Emmett and Alice looked shocked. While Emmett and Alice looked happy Carlisle looked hopeful. I decided now was the perfect time for Emmett to hold up his side of the deal. I stood up and walked over to him.

" So time for you to hold up your end of the deal." I said a little smugly.

" Alright, fine let us get ready." Emmett said. Edward looked mad but everyone went to get ready. They came back down within a minute all changed into "hunting" clothes. I was happy I was gonna be alone.

" Now remember you promised to be good." Carlisle said. I nodded. Yeah yeah I thought. All Alice did was look at me and tap her temple to remind me she'd be watching. Sigh. Finally they left luckily no one tried to hug me. After they were out of the house I walked over to the piano.

I sat down and started to play a song to warm up.

(dead and gone by T.I)

horus:

(Justin Timberlake):

Ooooooo

I've been travelin

on this road to long

Just trying to find

my way back home

The old me

is dead and gone

dead and gone

Ooooooo

I've been travelin

on this road to long

Just trying to find

my way back home

The old me

is dead and gone

dead and gone

(T.I.)

Ever had one of dem days

u wish woulda stayd home

Run into a group of niggas

getting they hate on

U walk by

they get wrong u reply

then shit get blown

Way outta proportion

way past discussion

Just u against them,

pick one then rush em

Figure u get your hair?

that next

They dont wanna stop

there now they bussin

Now u gushin, ambulance

rushin u to the hospital

with a bad concussion

Plus ya hit 4 times

plus it hit ya

spine paralyzed waist down

now ya wheel chair bound

Nevermind that now

u lucky to be alive,

Just think it all started u

fussin with 3 guys

Now ya pride in the way

but ya pride is the way u

could fuck around

get shot die anyday

Niggas die

every day all over

bull shit dope money dice

game stash box contents

Could this be

cuz of hip hop music

or did the ones

with the good sense

not use it

Usually niggas

dont kno what to do

when their back

against the wall

so they just start shootin

For red or for blue

or for dough I guess,

from Bankhead

or from your projects

No more stress,

now im straight,

now I get it now I take

Time to think,

before I make mistakes

just for my familys sake

That part of me left yesterday

the heart of me is strong today

No regrets im blessed to say

the old me dead and gone away.

(Chorus)

(T.I.)

I aint never been scared,

I lived through tragic

Situations coulda been dead

lookin back at it

Most of that shit

didnt even have to happen

But u dont think about it

when u out there trappin

In apartments hangin

smokin and rappin

Niggas start shit didnt

next thing ya kno we cappin

Get locked up

then didnt even get mad

Now think about damn

what a life I had

Most of that shit

look back just laugh

Some shit

still look back just sad

Maybe my homboy

till be around

Had I not

hit the nigga

in the mouth that time

I won that fight, I lost that war

I can still see my nigga

walkin out that door

Whoda thought Id never see

Philant no more

Got enough dead homies

I dont want no more

Cost a nigga his job,

cost me more

Ida took that ass-whoopin

now for sure

Now think before I risk my life

Take them chances to get my stripe

A nigga put his hands on me alright

Otherwise stand there

talk shit all night

Cuz I hit you , you sue me,

I shoot you, get locked up, who me?

No more stress, now im straight,

now I get it now I take

Time to think

before I make mistakes

just for my familys sake

That part of me left yesterday

the heart of me is strong today

No regrets im blessed to say

the old me dead and gone away.

(Chorus)

(J.T.)

I turn my head to the east

I dont see nobody by my side

I turn my head to the west

still nobody in sight

So I turn my head to the north,

swallow that pill

that they call pride

The old me is dead and gone,

the new me will be alright

I turn my head to the east

I dont see nobody by my side

I turn my head to the west

still nobody in sight

So I turn my head to the north,

swallow that pill

that they call pride

The old me is dead and gone,

the new me will be alright

(Chorus)

There it is. I know it's short and sucked but it's better than nothing. I hope to have another chapter up asap.


	28. Chapter 28

I am putting this story up for adoption. I feel bad that I am not updating it quickly and I am very busy with life and family issues right now. Just pm or review if your interested. If no one wants to adopt it I will keep it and work on it when I can. I'm soooo sorry. Let me know.

xo Jacksperluvr


	29. Chapter 29

Just to let you know that Dizzy128 has adopted this story. I don't know when she will post a new chapter. I hope you stay with this story and see where it goes.

~ Jacksperluvr


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